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Coming out for a ride? E-mail us bailout@midaircrisis.org.uk

Well, there's a light at the end of the tunnel after all. By the way, have you killed your daily bike thief yet? David and Terry sped across to Halfords on Saturday 10th December after deciding to accept their voucher from the insurance company rather than cash for the stolen bikes. Cash would probably have seen Terry riding away on one of these - a Specialized Enduro Elite. Thanks to the lad at Edinburgh Bicycle Co-operative, Newcastle who patiently allowed me to play with one, and an Enduro Expert, twice in three days, but our joint decision went the Kona way (again).

So winging it's way to our place soon is one of these -

a 2006 Coiler Deluxe for David

and one of these - a 2005 Coiler - for The Gollum. Just to cut the crap a little (sorry, reduce the amount of smugness) Golly is having a couple of extras fitted to the standard Coiler to make it just a tad more sophisticated than the Deluxe! Its getting these -

XT Rear Switcher

Hayes HFX9 DH 203mm Discs

Fox DHX5 Air Shock

Marzocchi All Mountain SL Forks

Crank Bros 5050 pedals

RaceFace Diabolus DH Stem

That should just about do it, with the weight expected to be 3 to 4 lbs less than a standard Coiler.

Oh, and a message to the bike thief(ves) - you'll have to look elsewhere to find these two beauties, and I'm not giving any clues, you tw**(s).