Name: Ian F

Occupation: Graduate Engineering Wizard

Current bike: GT iDrive 5.0

Dream Bike: I dunno, probably an Orange 5 SE or a Norco Fluid LT. Frankly, if it has two wheels and goes forward then I’m happy. And the former is optional

Favourite bike clothes: RaceFace.

Favourite colour: White. Or Black. They never go out of fashion.

Favourite food: Fish.  

Other enjoyments: Reading (books, not the place), music, The Times, fine wines, average lagers, foreign films (none of that muck that your thinking of, either), extreme ironing, Galaxy Minstrels, tea, sleep.

Since winning ‘Best Dressed’ in the ’99 Eastern Northumberland, Semi-Bi-Annual Croquet Championships, Ian moved on to the safer sporting pursuit of mountain biking. Apparently, he makes up 1/3 of the NMBC ‘Youth Team’, which probably just translates as ‘inexperienced’ and it seems to show given that he spends the majority of rides picking himself, and his bike, up from the trails. A ‘no-fear’ attitude means Ian is more than willing to throw himself down the hills as fast as he can, although it’s mainly an exercise in hanging on to the bike and trying not to die; the skill comes in trying to make it look like he knows what he’s doing.

Away from mountain biking, Ian is a graduate engineer - for an engineering company, surprisingly. He spends a lot of time making tea, although rumours are afoot that he may be allowed to use the coffee machine in a few weeks, so it’s exciting stuff. He also follows Newcastle United Football Club with a keen, and invariably drunken, eye which means that if they’ve lost on the Saturday (and it’s a frequent occurrence, sadly), then Ian will no doubt turn up worse for wear on the Sunday, after drowning his sorrows with the other idiots who follow the toon.

If they’ve won, he’ll be even worse.

Being as cultured as he is, (he reads The Times, and even understands most of the long words), Ian can often be found on a Sunday evening after a ride, sitting on his balcony quaffing Pimms, listening to Classic FM and musing on the finer points of his Indian takeaway.

He’s also a notorious liar.

Favourite trails: Spooky Wood, up at Glentress.

Bike Hates: Thieves, flat tires… the usual stuff, really. And cleaning the damn thing after a ride.

Personal Hates: *deep breath*… Coldplay, Jeremy Clarkson, Tracey Emin, Audi TTs, people who read the Metro on the bus over your shoulder, dogs, cats, spiders, pinstripe suits, Coldplay, iPhones, breaking a tenner, spending a tenner… spending money at all in fact, blue cheese, mushrooms, the French, Coldplay, Kate Bush, breaking a guitar string, Nicole Kidman, children, anyone who puts their seat back on planes without asking, Mackems, Coldplay, tax, geographers, political correctness, the Daily Mail, liver, people who play music on their phones when you’re on the bus… I wouldn’t care, but it’s usually terrible music.

Coldplay… again.

Personal Achievements: Bronze Swimming badge, doing 100 keepy-uppies, winning a fancy dress competition at the age of 7 for dressing up like Dennis whatshisface… the snooker player with the stupid glasses… Dennis Taylor, that’s the chap.