Midaircrisis Geordie Mountain Bikers update September 2006

Once again MidAirCrisis.com was firing on only three cylinders for this simple day ride, with the sole intent of getting the legs going for the Bank Holiday weekend trip to Bonnie Scotland's Seven Stanes. Jason and Terry met John at his new house in Cramlington at 10.45am on Sunday 22nd May 2005. A reasonably sunny day but with a cool breeze blowing.

We hit the vast maze of cycle paths that Cramlington has to offer and set off towards Bedlington with the intention of staying off road as much as possible, but not doing anything adventurous. Although the two Elders were wearing body armour, all three had left off the leg protectors as this was just a refreshing flat ride to get the blood circulating. You just KNOW what's coming, don't you?

10 or 15 minutes after zigzagging through peoples back gardens (that's the impression you get on these bike paths) we ran out of them. To the left - houses. To the right - houses. Straight on - dense undergrowth. Now then, which way shall we go? Ouch! Not too bad though, and not a sign of any tyre tracks where we were going now - familiar? This was only minutes out of the New Town's centre and there were poisonous snakes and alligators prowling around our wheels. Here's one of Jay's little dolphin-like bananas looking petrified in the jungle at Humford Mill.

The trail, if I can call it that, was most definitely NOT for any kind of vehicle, except maybe a very short wingspan helicopter. By now we are used to walking and carrying the bikes, and here we were again, doing more of the same. It was quite entertaining though, but we all wished we'd put the leg guards on as the stinging nettles all along this route were really making themselves felt. It was also quite dangerous with hidden log steps, pretty steep in places, and plenty of mud on a day we expected to stay clean. Also a great many trees fallen across the trail, as we've seen almost everywhere this year.

Humford was interesting, and we emerged from the trees to surprise the few folk playing around this little pool with it's giant but crumbling stepping stones. They had entered from the "normal" direction reached through Bedlington Nature Park and were sure not expecting cyclists coming out of the bushes. Neither were we. After crossing the pond here (this is Jason after falling in!) we were on a normal Bridleway through the Country Park and it turned into a bike ride again. This was terrain we hadn't covered before and we managed to escape tarmac for quite a few miles, until we emerged at the mouth of the River Blyth. We turned south through Blyth centre and onto the North Sea Cycle Route on the dunes after we'd had lunch on the Promenade watching the (other) posers on their jet skis in that lovely warm North Sea. A bit later we slowed for a short chat with a couple of reps who tried to get us interested in cycling, but after taking a good look at our mud-spattered faces and bogged-down bikes gave us up as a bad job.

We stopped for a breather behind a convenient convenience when a short sharp shower let loose from a nasty black cloud, but it soon passed and the rest of the day was lovely. At Seaton Sluice we dropped into the valley of the Seaton Burn to enjoy some more off-road stuff. And plenty more nettle stings. On through Hartley West Farm and Crow Hall Farm, where a bungled stile crossing put paid to the Gollum's rear gears (yes, again my lovely SRAM X-9 gets a pasting). Locking it into the only sprocket that would work without major surgery, we plodded on slowly into Holywell Dene. We had a gentle jump around in there for half an hour. Gentle until Jason landed a nice uphill jump and slipped off both pedals on landing, causing his soft-bits to take full force of the impact on his saddle. This was forced down onto the Coiler DL's frame with an almighty CRACK! and although he said he was unhurt, he rode the last 5 miles sitting sideways or standing, so I'm not so sure. He also talks like the Crazy Frog, and I'm sure he didn't do that before.

From Holywell we crossed over to Seaton Delaval, then through Middle farm at Seghill and back to the Cramlington cycle paths. A round trip of 19 miles and just enough walking and carrying to make bits ache. Jason survived his Batchelor Weekend to Amsterdam in reasonable condition, John was full of energy as he usually is and Old Person just managed to get back without collapsing. Next weekend will be hard, but we're having an extra ride midweek just to get in the mood.

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