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We didn't have a ride planned really, but today, the Saturday before New Year's Eve 2006, Jason, Andy and Terry decided to brave the elements and venture out but not too far. Kielder seemed a fair choice as Terry was dying to see what was going on up there since the trail builders moved in. We knew there was a Skills Loop at Kielder Castle which had its official opening in the summer but we hadn't yet been to see it. We arrived around midday, and that was due to stupid old Gollum deciding at around 9.45 that he'd fit clipless pedals to the old Barracuda as today wasn't going to be a romp, just a trawl around the fireroads. However, it took him, his weedy little body and a full arsenal of heavy equipment to get the non-drive side flat pedal off the Cuda. So we started late.

The skills loop is, er, compact. However, it has, or soon will have, a touch or two of most of what you should sample before joining the Big Lads on a mean old Red Route. Both of those touches managed to bring both Andy and Jason crashing to the ground seconds after we got on it. I'm sick of warning them about these dangerous clipless traps. And, although travelling at almost negative speeds (that's less than zero mph) both gentlemen managed to hurt themselves i.e. cause themselves actual pain. Tossers - watch the Old Man and learn. NO! Not ME, the OLD man!!!

After a peep at the car park map, and concluding that there were no proper trails yet leading off the Loop, Gollum led the trio off along the Forest Drive looking for trees. Ten minutes of rising tarmac later we discovered that work is indeed proceeding nicely on either a Red or Black section that comes down from behind the castle somewhere to the Drive. It's looking good but obviously being at the bottom that's all we can say at the moment. We carried on a little, still climbing, and getting more and more curious about where that section might start from. Then half a mile up the road Andy suggested we follow the first fireroad off to the left "just in case" so we did. Some 20 minutes and 200 feet upwards later we did indeed come across the start of said section. Except that we can't say anything about it as you may be tempted to go yourself and have a sneak peek, and I'm sure the trail builders won't welcome your visit. Therefore what I'm about to show you is a mock-up of what we think the trail looks like: (by the way, take one hour off the times shown on the photos - can't be arsed to fix the camera's clock)

also shown next is the svelte, curvy left leg of Andy, maybe

and here's the lean, mean trail building machine, alledgedly and a view from half way down the imaginary trail looking up at two imaginary MidAirCrisis types wondering if there would ever be a trail like this in Kielder.

And here's a sign you might see where someone might be building a new trail:

Before I forget, e-BayJay was on yet another new bike today - this time he's landed an immaculate Canondale Jekyll 800. Opinion was divided for the first five minutes, but after that we all thought it was sheer crap. Nay, nay, that's not fair. This particular example has been built up by someone strange and they've put titchy 130mm Manitou Stance Blunt forks on it which are just w-a-y too short for the shape of the frame. Andy and I both had a quick squiggle on it in the car park before we left and if this was the kind of web site that allowed blasphemous language I'd say it was pure shite. But I can't say that, so let's just say it's not the best thing on round wheels. It just feels too squat and you are constantly being thrust forwards over the front wheel no matter where you try and sit. The poor lad put a brave face on it but really, wot a wanker for buying this crap. But I can't say that. Still, impulse buying sometimes has its plus points - just that Jason hasn't seen any yet! Anyway, here is the tank:

Actually, I reckon it could be good with 170mm or longer forks and a lay-back seatpost. Better still, it could be melted down and made into a mountain bike. But only a Downhiller.

We battled on, and rested near the top of a dirty great hilltop for a quick bite, and to allow Jay to catch up. From here we decided to backtrack, Golly and his fast Shimano clipless pedals actually leading the other two up a few banks. Why can't they spend every pre-ride night getting immortalised on the Alco liquid?  We stopped for a while to shelter from a monsoon Andy detected on his radar. Jason took the opportunity to ignore the warning signs and go here:

Off again to do a massive uphill loop and end up back where we started. I lie, there was a down side too it aswell, luckily. Of course, at the foot of every down there's another up waiting for you. This was it:

and the area we'd ridden round for the last hour or two: How on earth this bike looks as small as it does here I'll never know - it's absolutely huge when you stand next to it

Still, the rain had gone at last and the sky was brighter as it started to get dark (?). A little further up this climb, after we'd stopped Jason's rear derailleur jumping into his back wheel every time he changed gear (what a piece of crap) we once again shared another hallucination -  this time all three of us imagined we'd found the top of a Black section of trail, still under construction. Must have been the sun. So we dreamt our way down it, half walking, half riding, half (hold on, that's three halves?). You get the (imaginary) picture. We imagine something like this will be great if it ever gets built.

And at the foot of that Black section we even imagined it crossing the road and linking up with the Red (or Black?) bit we'd imagined earlier. Now that would be splendid. And a lot closer to the Toon than Glentress.

 

And finally we were back on the Forest Drive with a nice relaxing drop back to Kielder Castle. Look at my speedo - over 12 mph into the wind! We covered exactly 12 miles, max speed 29mph, 2 hours rolling time, average speed 6mph, low point 652 feet above sea level, highest 1232 feet. (see profiles page) Although the weather wasn't great I really enjoyed this little outing - and I would imagine they could have some decent trails at Kielder by midsummer 2007 - we'll let you know!

 

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