It was early in the year when Ian B suggested we may like to accompany him on a ride at his second home, Glentress, to mark his 60th birthday.The day finally arrived on Saturday 8th August 2009, a couple of weeks after his actual birthday due to fixture congestion. There were cars and bodies all over the place at the Gollum's Cave at Holystone from about 07:35 with Tony arriving first, bright and early. As usual there were a few late arrivals but eventually four vehicles set off together around 08:20 to try and beat the tourist and MTB traffic. Meanwhile, on a distant planet far, far away, Ian A and terry H set off to meet the rest of us up there as did Keith and Dave R and Mick and Suzanne. Full list of partygoers:

1 Suzanne
2. Matt
3. Mick
4. Stian
5. Arthur
6. Alan W
7. Chris D
8. Alan W's mate Dave
9. Chris K
10. Jon
11. Ian A
12. Stewart
13. Ian B
14. Terry H
15. Ian M
16. Terry K
17. Jason
18. Tim
19. Jay
20. Tony
21. Jeff
22. Keith
23. Dave R

We congregated at The Hub cafe once we'd all got parked up in different car parks. Great to see Suzanne getting out and about again after a long spell of illness, and Mick was out the previous Sunday attempting the Selkirk Merida with his Grandson, who unfortunately ended up a hospital case for a few days. I was going to say it was good to see Dave R back ion the saddle, but with a still-unhealed broken wrist I just found that a tad difficult to understand and I'd rather have seen him in a month's time! At least he didn't let his undoubted enthusiasm run rampage and stayed away from the main trails.

We set off behind the lead bunch of the usual speedies with Jon again in dazzling form as he was at Selkirk, as we tracked up the new starting climb, and as is normally the case it produced a few tired legs early on. Hit hardest and earliest were Mick and Chris K, both suffering by the time we reached the Buzzard's nest car park. It was there that Mick decided to peel off onto the Red with Tony and Arthur, while Chris gritted his teeth and followed the crowd onto the Black.

It continues to get more and more stony with every ten thousand people that ride it, and really you need to save all your wrist and arm power for what comes up after the Radio Mast. The first proper test, the Goat Track, flew by pretty quickly, a sure sign of things to come, but there were regular regroups as usual along the way. New member Dave, Alan's pal, joined us for the day and came a slight cropper on this first section to maintain a great tradition but survived without surgery. And somewhere along the way there were a couple or three punctures but I'm having trouble remembering where, except for Terry H's much later in the ride on the approach to Deliverance.

Next up came the Tower Climb which had Chris feeling even worse, with Speedy and Golly keeping him company at the back while the rest skittled up the awful double stage climb. Atop the second bit, Chris and the Gollum were surprised to find their tour rep, Ian Bee or Wasp, waiting patiently for them with the others now well gone. The three stayed together all the way up to the Helly Hansen Hut where a most welcome but sadly short food break allowed Chris to recover a wee bit, although Official and very hard working Cameraman Stewart fed him a High Five phlegm bar to restart his motor.

You could sense the reins being strained as some of the front runners were dying to get on with it, and eventually we all remounted for the final assault on the Britney Spears berms and then the Mast climb. Somehow Chris managed to drag himself up there aswell and after another short rest bathed in radio waves, he chose to take the shortcut down to the top of Spooky Wood, where the rest of us would soon be headed anyway  to meet Tony, Arthur and Mick..

The full fury of the MidAirCrisis Youth Squad (Under-40's) was well and truly unleashed now as the drops into the singletrack downhills of the Boundary Trail were attacked with something more than manic vigour by everyone. It didn't seem to matter where in the queue you were, you still had a raving, raging loony in front and behind you all the way down with hardly a pause for quarter of an hour of breathless action. Amazingly, there's been some devilment at work on the first drop as some evil b@st@rd or group of them has dug a fairly deep hole right in the middle of the trail in a particularly dark stretch under the trees. Somehow we all got across or around it, but it could be a real maimer, and that's why it was done, I assume. Just shows you - even in this Mecca of the MTB World, you still aren't safe. But really the Rangers should be putting this right as soon as it's found, with people coming here to ride from all three corners of the Planet. The flying Jon succumbed to another tubeless puncture (!) on the final singletrack downhill of the set.

It was at the end of this series, down on the Deliverance fireroad, that Terry H had his puncture, with the Stan's goo not managing to seal his tubeless Nobby Nic. Bit of breathless sunbathing going on while that was fettled and we awaited Jon's arrival. Then it was climb time again after we'd followed Ian's instruction to bypass Deliverance as there were nicer bits available staying with the fireroad for a short while. Another singletrack climb took us across to the firebreak roads leading to the singletrack climb to the infamous Spooky Wood. As usual, there were lots of riders either milling around or passing through the picnic area at the trail head when we arrived. The lads who'd pressed on ahead had already taken enough rest so by the time we stragglers arrived they were preparing to go off and do the brilliant toboggan run that is Spooky. The rest of us had our snack break and by the time we were ready to go, the hit squad were back for seconds!

With the Speedian hesitating at the take-off point, Golly squeezed past him and shot off the first drop, zoomed up to the second and almost landed on Stewart's head as he was lying underneath the launch pad! Really taking this camera work seriously, our Stew, and as his pictures show, he's bl@@dy good at it. As usual the trail didn't disappoint, everyone just lashing down the thing as fast as they could, with the grin collection growing with every berm and jump.

Unfortunately, while most of us were gathered at the foot, word filtered down that Ian M had snapped his chain on the first take-off. Turned out it happened even before that as he was changing gear on the lead-in, when the PowerLink had come apart. Ian found it after a short while and joined the rest down below, having enjoyed the dash down as much as anyone, bike as normal.

Ian B dived off the chute starting the next singletrack section just ahead of the Gollum and they blasted down this somewhat more technical section to await the others at the bottom, ready to take on the next bit. This is the trail which caused the Gollum his current longstanding injuries, way back at Christmas time when he miscued a landing and paid for it for the second time in 20 minutes with left arm and leg damage, just as painful now as then. However, his mind was completely taken off the Bad Stuff this time. As he really pushed The Human Wasp as hard as he possibly could, when they arrived at the very spot Golly had maimed himself at, didn't Ian start heading straight off the side of the trail towards a very, very big tree! There was no time to slow down or react in any other way than to burst into maniacal fits of hysterical laughter as he saw Ian just managed to squeeze past the tree to its right and ride headlong into six foot tall ferns! Golly had never seen anything so funny on a trail before, not even Jason falling directly in front of him! Fortunately Ian managed to dig himself out and get going again without any damage or pain, and he could still hear the Gollum almost crying now with the pain of laughter a few hundred metres ahead.

Mock up!

Once down onto the fireroad, there was now the minor distraction of the Pie Run which like Spooky was repeated by those keen enough to bother in the heat. I've a slight recollection here that new lad Dave collected a puncture on the way down this final singletrack, another pinch flat, and ended up carrying his bike to the fireroad before dealing with the repair there.

With everyone down the Pie Ruin at least once we moved on to the Magic Mushroom and the brilliant swoop down in roughly the same order. Just one climb left now to get to the Red Squirrel car park for that tremendous new Blue run all the way back down to The Hub. Golly's legs had gone by now, so while the rest re-did the Red climb on the singletrack, Tim kindly dragged him up on the forest drive with it's more direct and firmer route.

To have Spooky AND this fabulous Blue roller coaster within a few miles of each other really does give Glentress an edge most trail centres can't keep up with, and as if that Spooky racetrack wasn't enough, NMBC greedlily dived into the Blue and the pleasure levels lifted yet again, if that was possible. Speedian, following the Gollum with a tiring but happy Jay in close company, finally managed to take some regular air as he stomped it staying on the codger's tail all the way down over that brilliant, never-ending series of take-offs, and to see the smile on that always happy face grow even bigger made the ride worth while on its own.

Overall though, Ian B was extremely pleased and well satisfied to see so many turn out with him, and thanked everyone at the coffee table down at The Hub cafe where we said our farewells and headed for home totally satisfied and without any serious damage to anyone.

So congratulations to Ian B for reaching a grand old age and still being as agile and fearless as he is on an MTB, and of course for providing us with a masterful guided tour of surely the best way to tackle this place, one of the World's most popular mountain biking hotspots. And to everyone else who at one time or another all chipped in with their own slice of personalisation. Unforgettable.

trimmed pix here including Ian A's super shots (only the wheel-up brigade at Spooky Wood!)

and Stewart's brilliant collection here:www.landscape-evolution.co.uk