Sunday 11th October 2009 dawned with Golly not expecting many to turn out for this potentially ordinary local fill-in between away treks. A reasonable number did turn out, however, with these nine appearing for a genteel tootle close to the Cave:

Stephen G, Steve B, Ian B, Ian M, Chris D, Jeff, Mick, Iain and Terry K. The Loony Tunes today were Mick who'd ridden here from Seaburn and Stephen who'd pedalled from Blyth! Just as well we didn't intend to do any major mileage, I suppose.

We set off along the Great Lime Road just after nine and headed up to Killingworth Village then through the township a slightly "different" way to normal and over to Weetslade Country Park. Up to the top of the hill as a warm-up then off it again behind Ian B in another unusual direction to pick up the Seaton Burn bridleway.

Crossing the old A1 we turned south then into the trees as Golly shot through yet more little-used greenery to test the grip of everyones' tyres on what little mud could be found. Then even more strange territory was covered with a back-to-front run through some more damp singletrack until we emerged onto the trail we normally start on. From there we rode up the hill past our regular turn-in down to tarmac and back out to the main road through Seaton Burn.

When we reached the Holiday Inn roundabout there were gasps of disbelief behind Golly as he carefully manhandled the Commencal down a steep, grassy slope off the side of the A19. However, there was indeed a wooden post twenty feet below marking a "route" diagonally across the field. After regrouping we attacked this and it popped us out on the Arcot Hall road.

Just shy of the Golf Club, Chris spotted something over the wall resembling a rideable piece of terrain, so we carted the bikes over said wall and proceeded to milk whatever we came across under the trees. It was indeed spot on, just what we like, but it only stretched a few hundred metres before we had to rejoin the road again.

Once past the Hall though, we got offroad again and this time, sheer bliss awaited on totally uncharted territory. With about a mile of lovely, narrow, rapid, twisty singletrack behind us and eighteen plumped-up cheeks (facial) it was time for Obstacle One to make its presence felt, and this combination of very tall grass, very tall bramble and very lumpy ground did cause a couple of unexpected dismounts, the most dramatic belonging to Ian M who seems to be on another of his rolls (pardon the pun) at the moment. Finally we shook free of it and made our way over to Cramlington.

Ian B had a secret mission here today, and as he was Ride Leader for this next few miles we couldn't prevent him dragging us into the Town centre where he wanted to see a lad in Halfords with a Specialized Enduro frame for sale. However, we were still half a click short when the Gollum directed everyone into the new skate park and poor Steve B became the day's second victim with a really hard fall on the greasy, glass-like surface of the ramps. How on earth anyone can ride on this and stay upright none of us could comprehend. We think they've used the wrong surface finish, and it was no surprise that there weren't any BMXers anywhere to be seen, probably all in hospital.

So, Halfords became Food Halt One while Ian was inside doing business. By now the sun had burst out and the sky was clear, a bit too hot for a bike ride, but at least this would be a short one, in close proximity to the Cave. A brief discussion between Ian and Golly saw the latter leading out towards Bassington through Nelson Village, then through Northburn (off-road!) before heading west along the A192 to Plessey Checks.

Familiar ground now took us through the fields behind the Gollum and down into the Woods. We crossed the fairly dry ford and took to the picnic table for Food Halt Two. Not much time for real food as we weren't going very far, although Steve set about his five pasta-enriched courses with a vengeance. It was while we were here that Mick showed us his massive banana. Must have come over on its own boat, this fine specimen. And to think he'd been humping it for hours. Hero.

Oh, almost forgot - we also discovered that Plessey Woods hosts a banana magnet. I kid you not.

We tackled a bit of singletrack that Ride Leader for the Next Five Minutes, Mick, had spotted lurking in the trees, and then carefully picked our way through the pedestrians littering the park paths to get us up by the Visitor Centre. Once out onto the road, Golly took over the helm again to lead along the 192 to Nedderton where the field crossing sapped our energy, even though it was bone dry for once.

Another regrouping and very short breather at the roadside before crossing to the bridleway and blatting down it past Howard House and moving fairly rapidly all the way down the singletrack to the railway track at Willow Bridge. The route took us through more nice tree-lined stuff before getting the chance to tackle the maze at East Choppington. About 15 miles on the clock here, just about enough for a short ride. However, it wasn't quite lunch time so rather than about face for a neat 30 miler we thought (Ian B and the Gollum did) we'd just mosey along to Bothal and see if the Woods were still there.

So, we took the A196 from where we were now at North Choppington, into the wind, and did the next bit. On reaching Coopies Lane Industrial Estate we coasted through that, over the railway line and down to the riverside at Morpeth.

Three Six Nine
The Gollum felt fine
He led the lads to the East Coast Line
The bridge was broke
Golly got choked
So they all crossed the river in a little row boat
Clap Trap...

Sorry about that, Sixties music lovers everywhere.

The bridge wasn't broken, although Ian wasn't sure it hadn't been swept away in those awful floods a year or two back. By now we were ready for a cuppa, and it was about nosh time, and we weren't going very far anyway so we'd best have something now.

That something proved to be tea and coffee from a mobile trailer in the car park and chips, dry and sauced, from a mobile Chinese chippy next to it. Very nice, standing there in the sunshine as the locals tried to fathom out what planet we'd come from. I got chatting to a bloke who told me he used to ride a titanium MTB called a Ridley and he did marathons on it 15 years ago. Do I look like a goon? (bu@@er, of course I do).

Golly was last to finish eating and didn't really want to jump straight back on the bike after consuming three kiros of Chinese spuds with half a garron of Chinese lard on their skins but the others were becoming impatient as they were under the impression we weren't going far from the Cave today, and time was getting on a bit.

The reins were handed over to Ian B now as he became our pointer. We retraced our last half mile back to the river then with Ian out front, followed him along a lovely but narrow curved cut on the extreme edge of a less-than-generous farmer's field before hitting the singletrack along the riverside that Ian had promised us.

If you've been there or heard us talk about it, you'll know, dear reader, that Drumlanrig Castle up there in Boney Scoatland has some mighty fine singletrack. You may also be aware that it's the rootiest, trickiest, most dangerous clump of roots that any trees have produced since fish walked the earth. Well, this here place is the same! And with Golly suffering from a lack of rear brake due to a random jungle nicking the sealing cap from his Hayes reservoir, and Stephen being ever so cautious after hurting himself on Thursday night's ride, we two probably caused the whole show to run on a little longer than intended. Brilliant route though, very scenic, and luckily only soaked, not deluged.

When we did manage to reach the other side the Collective (Ian and Gollum again) decided it may be wise to steer a bit more directly from here, as we weren't going to go far from the Cave today, this being a nice, relaxing, locally-based ride. Champion. Only why, then, was jeff showing about 34 miles on his speedo and we still had ten or twelve to go? All I can say is "Oops!".

So Golly, still exhibiting a recent surge of grand hillclimbing form, led the way up the steep tarmac, back out of Bothal Village and up to the A192 once more. We crossed it and rode down through Hepscott on our way back to Plessey Woods again, where Stephen departed for his Blyth home, just about knackered.

Now although we'd already had three dinners, when we passed the Visitor Centre this time, something tall, blonde and wearing very little below her waistline prompted the younger team members to seek another rest halt, but Father Gollum managed to keep them in line and keep things moving in order to get home before we turned into pumpkins. Although at this point I suspect we were more likely to turn into cucumbers.

We emerged from the Woods onto the road where Chris pushed Golly up that awful hill so hard we really had the group strung out by the time we reached the industrial estates. At least it forced us to stop and regroup again, when the remaining food stores were brought out. Only ten miles left and we're home!

That ten miles was mainly tarmac, unfortunately, but taking the most direct route home via Seaton Burn and Weetslade at least gave us the opportunity to finish the ride with a flourish, as we veered west again to take in the The Speedian's Playground in Gosforth Park. Very strange being without Ian A himself in here but we maximised our run through and by the time we hit the road again at the Garden Centre we were all just about smoked. I say just about as Mick still had to get back to Seaburn after he left the Cave and refused a lift down in the GollyMobile!

When we set off this morning, Ian B had joked about it being a good training opportunity for next weekend's Hairy Coo race up in Perth. If its as hard as this was I don't think I'll finish a lap!

Home at 16:45 ish. 46 miles on Jeff's bike PC at an average speed of 8.7mph which included a good bit of walking and bush tuckering. (about 62 miles for Stephen and 68 for Mick!!!)

Once again the weather was fantastic for us and the entertainment and laughs top notch - thanks a bunch Gentlemen.

here's Guest Writer Mick's take on today: any other offers?

As you mentioned before for members to send you their thoughts on a ride that may be added to a report here are mine:

Nearly 10 hours (0745-1730) and 73 miles was a long day in the saddle.

Watching new Steve (Stephen G) and then other Ian (M) falling in the brambles at 0mph.

Thanks to 3 Ians, Jeff, Chris and yourself for making my tubeless repair go soo smothly.

Trying to pace other Ian (Iain) to get him home when he was a bit tired!!

It is so much better spending driving time riding instead. Now I will have to find an 80 miler to do when you come to Sunderland. It wasn't that long ago that 50 miles was stupidly long.

See you again when I can feel my legs!!