Hamsterley got its first "official" Club visit of 2010 on Sunday 14th March. Those leaving the Cave just after 0900 were Steve B, new member Paul from Newbiggin and Terry K. They nipped through the Tunnel to pick up Tim (yes, the Gollum for once remembered to collect the poor, oft-forgotten Professor for once!) and these four were met at Hamsterley by Mick, Jeff, Chris K and Pixie (don't ask) out for his second bout of maltreatment.

We got started not long after ten on a lovely sunny morning with the inevitable climb up to the start of the Black first on Mick's agenda. Stevie, bless him, was either still paralytic from Chris D's wedding do the night before or ill (as he claimed) but was gradually losing his voice and his stability as the ride progressed. At the regular singletrack entry point, we stopped as Chris had remembered he'd forgotten to put his mobe out of sight in his car. Wor Mick volunteered to go back down and hide it - what this bloke will do to get another 200 foot climb in! While the others continued up towards one of Mick's secret trails, Terry waited there and used the five minutes to try and free off the rear brake on the rarely used Commencal Meta 66g, for once not being able to complain about the lack of braking power. Today he was forced into using the beastie as Tim's Mongoose was short of jockey wheels so he was on the borrowed GollyTrek.

Following Mick's return from the cars there was a short rest as seats were lowered in readiness for the first of the evils. Mick led down one of his favourites with Jeff hanging onto his tail. Terry, third in, caused a slight delay as he stopped to remove his sunglasses, a move copied by a few others, before they set off in pursuit. No way they they were ever going to catch the leaders though, as they were well down the hill now. We began to gather at the end of this brilliant drop only for a very loud thud to be heard just behind us, close to the end of the trail. That thud was Paul, not only complying with MAC club regs by planting himself on his first outing, but also making the final ditch deeper as his Kona Dawg skeeted off the side of the short wooden lath bridge and dumped him unceremoniously.

Rules are Rules

We all ran back into the woods to see if our fears would be confirmed, to find Paul with his arse firmly jammed in the base of the ditch, head up one side and feet up the other, lying in a perfect vee formation. There was blood all over his face hiding a look of slight discomfort, but the main point of interest was where he was holding himself. Absolutely no-one took a step forward to offer to ease Paul's pain, but I suppose he was kinda glad! We kept him pressed into the dyke to give his system time to recover from the shock before allowing him to ease onto his feet. At least the Dawg was still barking and ready to go.

We took a very slow walk/ride up the hill again to ease Paul back into it and a short rest before hitting the Black route proper. That first section went without a hitch, but Paul took it nice and easy down that root infested descent to avoid any more contact with sensitive body parts. There was one plus side to the drop apart from the massive fun factor it provides, in that it helped ease the Gollum's brake drag a wee bit. So really he shouldn't have tried to improve things by re-centring the caliper down on the fireroad, coz that made it ten times worse. Fortunately Stevie had a weapon that managed to push the sticky piston back in fully, taking away Terry's feeble excuse for lack of climbing performance.

Blazing Saddles

Half a click ahead we arrived at the second of Mick's hidden treasures and today in the half wet-half-dry conditions the adverse camber along this bit down to the river provided a few tricky moments, but no damage. Until Paul got to the final boulder drop-off and risked everything to tackle it. The result was a near perfect nose-dive but he somehow recovered it, although we all thought his saddle had claimed another prize. He had his grin back by now, however. The ford was reasonably low today but there were still only two or three of the party who escaped wet feet and reached the other side without a dab. It was here at the foot of the hill that Mick discovered his rear suspension wasn't quite perfect. After groping around everyones' bags for a small Allen key he ordered the rest of us to get on up the rocky climb and he would catch us up.

Mick walks a climb!!!

Nothing more certain than Mick's last words. However, he took longer to appear than we all anticipated and when he did finally cruise into view way down below, he didn't seem to be in any great rush. Strange with a hill coming up. Turns out he only rode the flat bit down below before dismounting. What? What's that you say?? Mick the Hill, dismounting to walk a hill??? Never! But yes. Sadly, the Intense had shot one it's bearing washers, and later we'd discover why, so Mick had to carry the thing up to the crest of that initial climb. From there up to the high point on the dry stone wall, terry carried the stricken featherweight while Mick enjoyed the remainder of the climb on a Man's Bike, the Meta, just as a taster. Then he grabbed his Intense back and finished the hill on it, well actually IT finished the downhill on HIM as he held it above his head and made better time down than we did!

In sickness and in health

At our fireroad rest below, Stevie decided he was in no fit state to continue the ride, so he donated his lovely new Stumpy to Mick and volunteered to walk back to the cafe with Mick's bike, what a man. The rest of us continued around the Black, watching closely (well, as closely as we could) while Mick totally thrashed the Stumpy within a shade of it's life, but we'll keep that fact quiet. Suffice to say that Mick was impressed with his loan ride, making an immediate bond with the carbonated Specialized. Steve even managed to catch us, on foot, as we hit the river again down at the Grove, and then insisted on joining us up at the Downhill hut for our lunch stop!

After a decent halt, Steve continued his lonely trek back to the Visitor Centre, although the bike was OK to ride along the flat Forest Drive. The rest of us continued up to the 4-X track for the start of the new Red Roller coaster where again Jeff and Mick stomped on the gas to hammer down to floor level again. Have to say they may have made a slight mistake here in their use of a Dolomite dressing for the berms as they're in a bit of a state with braking bumps and deep grooves forming in the pudding which always results after frost meets the yellow stuff because it bloats. Down below it was all grins anyway, regardless of the fact that we had to give it some welly through even the faster downy bits because of the tyre drag. Chris seemed to host the widest smile at the end of this run.

A short fireroad cruise had us at the top of the next Black descents where again Paul had to take extra care over the roots, then another short upward pedal presented that cavernous bombhole through which Tim, who knew it was there, led Terry, who didn't. That created something of a surprise for the Gollum when the rapid ascent out of the hole arrived and had the Meta in the air but vertical! The launch rock at the top lip of the hole was obviously designed for those with a natural airborne ability, but that's something gollums don't possess. There were a few milliseconds when it felt like the bike was about to go into reverse and drop straight back down the hole again, but somehow a panic-striken weight shift got the front wheel down again just in time to save it.

All that remained now after a regroup was the Skills Loop which lies there dormant, ready to claim its next unwitting victim. This time however, we disappointed it and all got round OK to cruise out onto the Forest Drive and back to the cars before a nice cuppa and cake awaited at the Centre. Great ride with much better than expected ground conditions.

Shame about Steve's Sickness, Mick's Mechanical and Paul's "Problem".

Pix later...