Sunday 15th November 2009. Getting near end of term for NMBC's '09 schedule, and the numbers have been fairly low lately for the gruelling Sunday rides, so the Gollum just sat with his porridge at 08:50 not expecting too many clangs on the Cave.

First to arrive was Pete and he was closely followed by Mick and Steve B. Chris D and Jeff had suggested they might meet us at Cow Green Reservoir in Teesdale so that would take us up to six. But hang on, who's this  - Chris K, even after his previous night's partying which wasn't expected to leave him in any fit state for a moorland flogging. Seven, wow! Almost double last Sunday's turnout. We were loading the GollyMobile nicely when lo and behold, an apparition just along the road. nah, couldn't be. Could it? Vanishing Man Jay, and it wasn't even nine o'clock yet!!!

After a quick discussion between Chris and Golly about the best route to take, either A69 or A68, we were off at about 9:03 somehow. The usual malarkey was taking place in the luxury MidAirCrisis Coach as we travelled west, with Chris alone in the Mongo behind so he could get home rapidly for another boozup. A steady 70 would get us to the start just after ten. As we cruised along the A69 past the Ovington turn, the GollyMobe sprang into action, vibrating intensely somewhere near the Gollum's nether regions and producing a wide smile across his salivating chops. The always law-abiding Golly quickly reached inside his rearward apparel and after a bit of fiddling handed the hot mobe to Mick sat in the NavChair.

"Hi Tim" chirped Mick. Before the word "Tim" had fully left his lips, the Gollum's head dropped forward and bounced off the steering wheel. The GollyMobile lost almost half of its speed and poor Chris drew up alongside wondering if the G had suffered a long overdue stroke. But no, Mick's hands were still on his own side of the van.

"Sh:t!!!" squealed Golly. "Bl@@dy Tim!" Yep, it was our Tim on the phone, and he was just wondering when we'd arrive at his Jarrow home to pick him up. (If you're nee gud at Geoga, now would be a good time to do a Google Earth). "We're approaching Hexham" sez Mick to Tim. "Can you meet us somewhere?". "Yes, good idea - make that Edmundbyers" retorted Golly, choking on his own vomit after such an embarrassing revelation. How the hell could anyone forget to pick up Tim, as previously arranged on Thursday night? Easy, if you're a total wa**er.

From Corbridge all the way to Edmundbyers, the Gollum could think of nothing else but Tim exacting some cruel revenge on him, and he was afraid, very afraid. We parked in the village centre and waited for Tim to finish his brekkies, load his gear into the car and say a long, lingering goodbye to Jools before setting off to do Jarrow to the Derwent Reservoir in record time. And he didn't do too badly, joining us for Yours Truly's most embarrassing reunion ever at around 10:15.

We reached the car park at Cow Green just as Chris D and Jeff were considering turning for home and accepting that we weren't coming. We'd just driven through dense fog and much damp to get up here and it looked like the ride was going to be a wet one. However, that proved incorrect although the sky remained threatening throughout.

We freewheeled down past the Dam and up to the Pennine Way off the end of the tarmac, taking turns at the gates. Then it was time to start the horrible drag up the side of the Army Ranges. Chris D and Golly were the only two risking the ford through Grain Beck while the others used the wooden footbridge. The next stretch of climb up to Maize Beck was a real killer with the ground completely waterlogged.

At Dobson Mere Foot the Gollum made his second massive cockup of the day by taking the wrong turn, staying high up the hillside and crossing via Maizebeck Scar instead of being down on the south side o9f the Beck. That wouldn't have mattered so much but for two things. First, this high ground was a total bog and everyone really suffered whilst trying to ride or trying to push through it. Second, poor Chris D, about a hundred metres clear up ahead, suddenly vanished from view, and by the time we reached him, his whole bike including handlebars were submerged, together with everything else except his Camelbak. That began to induce hypothermia almost immediately and caused Chris to strip for the dry clothing he just happened to be carrying inside the only bit that wasn't flooded. If I have nothing else to tell my Grandchildren, I can at least say I saw a naked Irishman in the Durham Dales! If we'd had Excalibur handy we could have produced an instant YouTube hit here.

The slog eventually turned a little more rideable as we headed for a thin strip of intense sunlight between the heavy grey clouds and the green horizon. There was even an Alpine-like contour edge we managed to ride and leg along, one of many subtle but just about rideable sheep trails, until we could drop down onto High Cup Plain and coast down to the crest of this magnificent landmark, with Cumbria in the distance bathed in bright sunlight. Fantastic, and the consensus seemed to be that it had been well worth the vast effort we'd had to make.

We hid around the corner in the shelter of the rocks for our lunch break before starting back, this time using the RIGHT trail. We had a lovely tailwind, quite strong, and the only thing that hindered our progress home slightly was the hardtail of Pete which was just wearing him out on the rough terrain. Oh, and a slight mishap for Tim when his back wheel skidded on the side of one of the big stepping stones that make up parts of the Pennine Way, and he clanked his already damaged knee on his handlebars. Fantastic drop coming off the ranges though for the sussers, flat out most of the way back down to Maize Beck Bridge, where again only Chris D and the Gollum used the ford to get over. We just about reached the little path up to the car park when the rain began to fall.

I was lucky enough to be in the company of eight people who hadn't been here before and seen High Cup Nick in all its glory, and I shared the "wow" factor with them as it always amazes me anyway. A hard ride (almost said "pretty" hard, but maybe not) but absolutely great for toning the hind quarters, and in Chris D's case at least, a proper mud face pack.

See Jeff's pictures on his site here, thanks Jeff for sharing them with us.