The Gollum got a real surprise on this dull and windy morning, Sunday 16th August 2009, as team members began accumulating at the Cave for a 9:00am departure to Holy Island. Because apart from the previous Saturday's Birthday Bash for Ian B at Glentress, numbers have been pretty low, even on beautiful mornings with some good target rides. Must have been nowt on the telly today as 12 of us were out for this one. We welcomed Pete for his first trip out with the Goon Show.

Using two vans and a car we arrived at Belford under a pitch black sky to begin our ride at around 10:15. Golly pointed the way as we threaded between the pub and the houses to hit the little tarmac road north out of the village. It was only a matter of minutes before Speedy Ian A's generous map offer proved its worth as the fool led everyone the wrong way at the very first opportunity! Never mind, good hillclimbing practice and it was downhill coming back.

After that little correction (and thanks to Steve B for allowing me to ignore his advice!) we set off the right way, but within that first half hour this "easily remembered" ride (so said Ian B and the Gollum) forced the map out about four or five times before finally we started to recognise some of the terrain and landmarks.

Golly was holding station at the back when we eventually reached the long downhill singletrack he'd been predicting incorrectly for ages. That allowed Jon to lead the blast away at the front. Good to see his new Specialized and the other all-white bling machines getting a good mudwash, tee hee.

When the rear gunner finally caught the vanishing herd, they's stopped at a small clearing and were beginning to make their way up to a few jutting rocks. Someone, who shall remain nameless (OK, Ian B) had told them this was the way up to St Cuthbert's Cave. The Gollum saw his chance to pull a fast one, and began to gather speed as he flew past them yelling "wrong way, tools". If that's the only way he can make the front for a few miinutes, then so be it.

This time, however, his puny recollective power proved correct and he was soon blasting through the damaged and now removed fence across the bridleway and turning into the track facing the Cave. He just managed to get Richy's camera out in time to capture most of the followers churning up the bank to join him at this amazing and historic monument. We lay about for a while enjoying a rest and a snack before Golly set off the Downhill Challenge, leading the way down that tricky little descent on the south side of the rocks. About half the party were suckered into following and all got down safely, including Pete on that funny little bicycle.

Time to scramble back up again but this time we lifted the bikes over the fence up top to join St Cuthbert's Way. Or at least that's what we started to do as Golly again showed the way. However, when we were all over the fence and settled on the byway, the Commencal Cannonball suggested a route he'd used in the past "over to the left". We made our way up to the cairn on top of Greensheel Hill where the wind was absolutely blasting into us from our left, the west, while Ian tried to spot the line of his old trail and sent everyone down the leeward slope. We couldn't see it, so Golly took off upslope again to try following a dry stone wall in the general direction of Shiellow Wood, our ultimate target.

The attempt to find a route through the gorse failed miserably and for once the Gollum admitted defeat before half killing everyone. He then followed the adjacent fence line all the way down the hillside where conditions underwheel were somewhat tricky through the clumpy grasses, but just about negotiable, and the others followed, no doubt muttering under their breaths! This change of direction put us in a field with some very scary cows and one very large bull. However, as some wise crack pointed out, the bull looked very tired and didn't bother us at all. The next field was full of sheep and in the far corner - oh, no! The farmer on his quad bike! We waited, fully expecting his approach to end with us being shot or scattered. Miraculously, he just collected his wayward sheep and even waved to us! We followed him up the field at a safe distance, very slowly, allowed him to gather his flock then bolted for the woods as quickly as we could, back on our planned route along St Cuthbert's Way.

We passed Johnny's Gatepost (historic MidAirMishap occurred here some years ago!) and entered the Woods, with the map coming out straight away at the first crossroads. Even with Fenwick displayed on the signposts, neither Ian nor Golly was dead sure which one to follow, so checking was easy and the right thing to do, however tedious for the waiting masses. Half a click up the firebreak road we ran into a large group of walkers, boots and all, and Golly at the front had to slam on the anchors and raise a warning hand to those behind. They past us amicably enough, some even chatting pleasantly to us!

Seconds later we were up to full chat again and approaching a sharp right hander, the Gollum's brain suddenly remembered a singletrack shooting off slightly left. This is a short section but quite technical due to the well-exposed roots and tricky tight turns. Shame it didn't last a few minutes longer. We\ stopped at the next firebreak for snack break number two, as the Gollum had seen a humanoid start out on the continuation of this nice little singletrack "path" with his dog, so best to wait for him to clear it.

We slagged Pete's bike off for a few minutes then with sunburn becoming a potential problem we got mounted again with Chris D bounding away into the lead. This is a smashing little cross-country section and with no pedestrians or landowners in sight just sheer enjoyment, and a wee bit of hard work on the gentle ups.

After a mile and three quarters of pretty interesting singletrack, field and grassy dual, the hamlet of Fenwick appeared, then we were at the side of the A1 waiting for a gap in the traffic. Once over that the Gollum scampered away at the front up the long drag half way up Fenham Hill, with Jon at his heels, from where the vast expanse of coastline running the length of Holy Island is visible. Visibility was excellent and it looked great. This was around 12:45 and according to the Speedian's prior advice the tide was in until 1:30 so we couldn't go over the causeway. As it transpired, by the time we'd done the Grand Tour de North East Northumberland, it was well out and loads of cars had already crossed. The "tour" happened when we got slightly off-track after crossing the main East Coast Railway line and ended up riding the edge of a very large, very lumpy field and ending up where we'd started!

It was here that we decided, with the prevailing, very strong westerly wind conditions and the combined previous experiences of Ian B and Golly, not to bother adding on those subsequently brutal final six miles to the Island and back - Tea Room or no Tea Room! So we followed Ian alongside the railway tracks back to Fenham. Another look at the map and Ian pointed us beachward, south via Fenham Mill. When we got there the Gollum dived down what looked like a smashing piece of singletrack. Seconds later he came to an abrupt halt - tyres besieged by seaweed and nothing but water dead ahead!

Ian to the rescue again (or not!?!) as he demanded we continue along the edge of the marshland. That's when a bloke emerged from the old Mill House to enquire, politely, where on earth we thought we were going! "Along there" replied Ian, pointing towards Gran Canaria. "Oh, are you?" said the bloke, disbelievingly, and obviously worried his home was about to be raped and pillaged. Anyway, Ian chose to ignore the advice to return to the road, and the kindly fellow proceeded to point down the coast at a bird hide, telling us to aim for that then turn up to the A1 again.

So on we plodded, Ian guiding through the mire, passing signs like this:

and this:

But we weren't worried, we're hard.

BOOM!

Nah, just kidding.

Once we'd struggled around the coastline for a bit we did get off it just about where that nice chap said we would. Next we turned left at Fenham-Le-Moor, a beautiful, expensive looking little hamlet and got onto a bridleway. Then suddenly we were in a field, you know, the brown and freshly ploughed type. Where the heck was the bridle? Gone - ploughed. B@st@rd farmer. The result of this was a huge amount of unnecessary further punishment for us all as we searched for the way out. It seemed a long time coming but at last there it was, green, open fields ahead with lush grass to ride on. If I'd been carrying a shovel I'd have gladly given my last breath to dig his bl@@dy grass up, just for spite.

Those last few fields were still a struggle being inclined very slightly upwards. At last we hit the little Elwick road and that's where we came to a halt while Jon dealt with his inaugural puncture in that lovely Stumpy. We decided to make it bait time aswell, as Jon doesn't hold the record for fastest puncture repairer, and a bit going missing from his pump made it even slower this time. The "natural" odour of the local surroundings had us on the move as soon as we were able, down a grassy byway and into a small copse just east of the A1 at Detchant Lodge, where we crossed and headed uphill to the Belford road, just 3 kilometres left to the cars, unfortunately slowed again by Jon's tyre going down (the other one, I think) but that was fine with a nice freewheel drop to end on. Good bit of exercise and the usual amount of giggles along the way.

Oh, I said on the Forum I had a nice pic of Keith to display, so here it is:

Now it may not look that unusual, apart from the fact that he's actually SMILING LOUDLY, and this was his Auld Enemy - a grassy farm-crossing ride!!!

few more pics later...