Sunday 19th August 2007. A crappy day. The weather forecast suggested the day would get better as it went on. For us handful (well, 1.4 handsful) of NMBC mortals, new and old, it didn't.

Keith, our NMBC New Rider Ambassador and Putter-Offer, was at the regular meeting point, George Stephenson's Cottage on the Great Lime Road in Forest Hall at 10.00 am to collect whoever was daft enough to turn out for this one. Those daft enough were Kay and Paul. Meantime, an even dafter one, young Ian from Durham, was being collected by John and Terry from Newcastle Central Station after training it up with his bike from the Land of the Prince Bishops, also arriving at 10.00 am. We dropped him off with the others and Keith led those four up to Hillheads at the top of Killingworth. Meantime, John and Terry collected their bikes from the Gollum's cave and rode through the fields at Holystone Farm for the Grand Reunion. So our damp ride really began at about 10.30.

Keith led from there as we dropped through the fields towards Burradon to meet Derek coming the other way. He met us just as John discovered he had a flat rear tyre. Not only that, but his rear spindle, replaced just an hour earlier by ace mechanic The Gollum, was waking the sleeping cattle as we passed them in the fields. Golly jumped on the stricken Kikapu and sprinted for the nearest cover to take a look-see. That was at the last bus shelter in Burradon where he spent 20 minutes correcting the problem while John re-inflated his Slime-filled front tyre again. Unfortunately for Johnny, it turned out that something had been put back incorrectly by the cave dweller and the only way to cure it quickly was to detach the rear hydraulic brake calliper and tie it to the frame! Rough, but Golly reasoned that John wouldn't need a back brake on this ride.

   

 We rode east to Old Backworth from where we followed Blue Leader Derek onto the bridleways heading north to Seaton Delaval. It wasn't too long before John's rear tyre deflated - unbelievable! So he and Terry stopped to puff it up (the tyre) after which John set off to catch the others while Gollum watered the only dry tree in Northumbria. By the time he'd caught the bunch again, John was nowhere to be seen, and the crew were asking if Golly had seen him! So, the Old One volunteered to backtrack and collect the world's best trail navigator a mile or so back after he'd taken the wrong turn.

Don't know what Paul's doing behind Kay here! but Derek's got that grin on  

Once joined up again we were led by Derek through a series of singletrack treats over to Seghill Refuse Disposal Plant, and after a very short rest more of the same heading east. We were just approaching the Proctor & Gamble complex on the edge of Delaval when guess what? Yep, a puncture for John. Opening up the rear tyre, Gollum discovered a couple of unwelcome intrusions into the tread - two dirty great thorns three inches apart. That explains why the Slime was having so much trouble effecting a seal. A few more minutes and we were underway again turning north and west over the railway line at Seghill. We took a minute here to show our new members the whoop-de-doos coming off the hilltop. We decided not to tackle them in such inclement conditions.

Turning north again we showed off another interesting trailside item near East Cramlington -

Then we crossed the A192 onto the bridleway to New Hartley, but not before yet another rear puncture hit John! This one hit Johnny hard and I hate to say it, but he felt very deflated now! Sorry. But I suppose anyone would after about 10 flats in as many miles. It was also trying to rain properly now rather than the Scotch Mist we started out in, and bodies were getting cold and tired. Up front, however, Derek was clothed from head to foot in nice warm waterproofs, first time since last winter, and he couldn't care less! So he kept on looking for mud for us to swim through. We followed the avenue of trees up to Newsham after Derek issued a Wet Root Warning and stopped half way along it under the shelter of a couple of stout trees for a long-awaited lunch. And it stopped raining!

Yes, it was dismal! Paul and Kay wind it up!

Lunch Puncture 42

Ten minutes later we were off again, and the rain must have sensed our movement and switched back on. Cheers, God. We reached to the road down to the sea front at Newsham, where I expected Blue Leader to take us down to the coast to get the wind behind us, but no, he wasn't finished yet, the baxter. So we crossed the road to complete the trail up to the golf course, going around the top of it before emerging at Bebside and then diving onto the riverside at Kitty Brewster. The River Blyth didn't look too inviting with the tide low, but the temperature  seemed to pick up a few degrees as we followed it's riverbank bridleway. That helped a little to ease the pain. Instead of burning straight through the centre of Blyth, the Gollum waved everyone onto the Quayside. That was to give our new people a chance to see the sights, and yes, Blyth now has some memorable ones after the disappearance of the infamous Power Station, with modern art creating some eye-catching features to attract tourists and locals alike.

John keeps warm while Paul takes in the view

and Kay re-applies her make-up Derek - smug, warm ba**ard

Keith doesn't seem to be suffering either

Ian's bike Paul's and Kay's

Another very short snack break was taken on the pier before the cold got too much and we were off again, south on tarmac to South Beach. The attraction of the seafront cafe caught someone's attention and Golly heard "cuppa" emitted from one or two weary mouths. So he ushered the group towards the cafe and volunteered to enter and get the teas and coffees. Amazingly, he was served, but the young lady at the counter could only hold back her laughter at the state of the Gollum, coated in mud from tip to toe, until he was leaving the place and then broke down in hysterics. Wonder why? It took us about 10 minutes to consume the warming liquids, during which we were engaged in conversation by a Sustrans Warden who said he'd rather be on his bike with us than in the car with his wife! She didn't look that bad to me.

Then we were off again on the final leg, at last with full wind assistance as it blew us down the dunes path to Seaton Sluice. At the very end of the trail, Kay decided to topple off her bike as the ground suddenly steepened and she was caught in the wrong gear. No, not skirt and high heels, silly. Anyway, over she toppled, and which idiot was once more in the wrong place at the wrong time? Yessiree, Gollum! So he fell off aswell, unable to unclip from his pedals, and got a nice wee gash on the back of his left calf, while Kay escaped with a giggle. Not fair.

We crossed the Coast Road at the Melton Constable and Derek dragged us through Seaton Burn (the stream, not the place) where Gollum discovered a very soft rear tyre on the Mutha after standing on the thing when Kay knocked him off. Grrr. Unlike the Slime in John's tubes, however, the Stan's No-Tubes Liquid in Golly's tubeless wheels could easily stand a high level of deflation, simply resealing themselves after a few metres riding, so it stayed soft for the rest of the ride. We reached the road at Holywell Village around 3.00 pm and Kay decided to pedal straight up the road to Earsdon and her home at Backworth. The rest of us took the bridleways back across to the other side of Backworth where Derek took his leave back home to Cramlington. That left Ian, Keith, Paul, John and Terry to ride together through Killingworth centre back to the Lake, and that's where Keith and Paul departed for home.

The three remaining bods only had to get to the other end of the Great Lime Road to the Holystone Hobbit's abode to complete a slightly dismal but nevertheless enjoyable 31 miler. John spared Ian any further grief by giving him a lift back to the station.

Golly's bike PC said 31.23 miles, 3 hrs 9 mins, 9.8 mph average, 20.6 mph max.

Oh, and Well Done new riders - you were great!

Keep watching and if you fancy a ride out with us, drop us a line here: bailout@midaircrisis.org.uk