JOIN OUR BLOG - KEEP IN TOUCH at www.midaircrisis.co.uk/blog - Register and Go, it's easy!

Sunday 22nd February 2009 saw us venture not very far from our Tyneside home for a jaunt around Alex's back garden on the North York Moors. He'd offered to lead a ride some time ago but his employers hadn't appreciated how important he is to us and kept him at work most Sundays. He intended to make up for it today, and certainly succeeded in that.

There were twelve of us who set off from the Cave around 09:25 on a cool but very bright morning. Ian B travelled with Ian A in his little Ka, Stewart took Dave, Matt, Chris K and Steve B in his Astra while Jason drove the GollyMobile with Ian M, Alex, Jon and the Gollum for company. Much better transport arrangements than some trips we've done, thus hopefully keeping costs to a minimum for everyone.

We arrived at the home of Alex's parents in Great Ayton at about 10:30 and were ready for the off at 10:55. Alex led us out the east side of the village for a few hundred metres before hitting us with the hard stuff straight away. This was a short climb into an old quarry area where the locals had produced a series of absolutely terrifying dirt jumps. We rode through them avoiding the obstacles but taking it all in, in awe. Another short snatch of a climb saw the first oopsy of the day just five minutes out. And yes, it WAS an Ian, but not Mr M as you thought, 'twas none other than our very welcome and irregular Sunday guest The Speedian whose brave hillclimb attempt ended downside up when his rear tread gave up it's minimal grip on the damp slate dust. He wasn't injured, however. Or said he wasn't. There were to be a good few more such incidents as the day went on, and almost all would be claimed by Mr M, rightfully accepting the job of Elastoplast Tester with his clipless pedals bravely reinstated on the BeOne hardtail.

We had a tricky excursion through a muddy wood, crossed a meadow, climbed a few stiles (sorry Ramblers) and poddled through a farm track before hitting the edge of Common Land in the general direction of Cook's Monument. That became Alex's first target once we'd got to the moors and trees. First mechanical of the day went to Steve but that was just a flapping rear brake hose which was remedied by one of Dave's cable ties and provided a nice little rest in the middle of a boggy singletrack under the trees at ten past twelve. Most of the first hour and a half or so was devoted to climbing but it was all good stuff with some technical bits thrown in. I didn't see if anyone made it all the way up to Cookie's Corner as I was way back down the hill walking to give the bike a rest. Kindly Dave stayed with me (but only because the chain was slipping on his lovely new Turner 5 Spot, rushed into action for today).

We'd had a very short break sat at the base of the Monument which a few took as lunch, but not the Gollum, who insisted on stopping for a proper rest after we'd come off the moors and back down to the tree line. Before that we had to earn it, as Alex led off again with Golly in cold pursuit and Chris snapping at his heels. Another very tricky descent through the trees carried us all the way back down to the road and the Monument car park. Unfortunately the fast descent we'd enjoyed to get down there now had to be done in reverse, and once again there was a little walking to do for at least one of us before it plateaud out atop the moors again.

After weaving though the heather on very skinny singletrack (REAL singletrack!) we were presented with yet another climb up to an old stone shelter, followed by a racy descent to the treeline below. This was where Ian B almost collected a couple of goons on toy motorbikes as he flew down the long dual track and didn't see them until he was amongst it. He'd be a bit less fortunate a while later, however.

Ten minutes did it then it was time for Alex to lead us down the infamous Rooty Trail so fondly treasured by the locals down here. What a blast that was! I followed him (well, I tried to) down the extremely technical wood, leaping as many roots as possible but at long last having a pair of tyres built for the job (Maxxis High Roller Super Tacky 42a's, if you're interested) (or not) and trying to both keep pace with him and keep Matt off my posterior. Brilliant action from my position, and I'm sorry I slowed you down Matt!

When the downslope finally expired it wasn't long before everyone overhauled the knackered Gollum who was now walking again, and at the end of this next section we were all forced to dismount for a very steep 12 foot muddy climb. Ian M. however, has his own unique way of dismounting, this time taking out a dead tree stump on his way to another bloody leg. He never manages to disturb that grin though. After that we had time to play on a couple of steep gravel descents where laughs were again abundant but unfortunately Ian B's Commencal got itself stuck in a rut just at the wrong time. The ensuing highside saw Ian bang his bonce against the very handy tree you see in the videos. The result of that was some discomfort for Ian - backache being the worst, which really affected him from then on. But he also gouged a nice dent in the top of his skull protector, making this helmet's life expectancy probably a bit shorter than it may have been. That's an awful lot of headbanging we've done between us in the last year or less. Always wear a helmet, Stranger.

Time for another moorland crossing with a couple of nice singletrack descents before hitting the top of a hill we'd previously climbed in the opposite direction, with that amazing stick of rock called Roseberry Topping staring us in the forks. We thought the Big Lad was going to make us climb the thing, but we skirted it's right flank as we were directed towards yet another forested area. When would the treats end? Not yet. When we started to dive into this bit with Alex leading the way and disappearing into the distance, Golly once more found Chris snapping away at him but all he could hear was giggling as his bike decided to travel sideways through each mud pool, Chris obviously enjoying the spectacle unfolding just ahead of him as Golly just kept it wound on, oversteering madly for a hundred metres or more. I reckon Chris was anticipating another huge Gollum Getoff™ but this time he was to be disappointed, just. Looking back once we'd hit the slippery climb, it seemed that no-one managed to hold it perfectly straight through here generating yet more laughs down the chain.

Only another mile or so left now before we hit Great Ayton again but it was all downhill and still very enjoyable trying to miss the final rows of trees lining the route. My bike PC showed only 14.9 miles when we reached "the Old's" but a good chunk of that was verging on the vertical. Nothing but grins on little cherubic faces while we were packing up, and the grins got bigger when Alex's super Mum brought out trays of tea and coffee for us all! Must thank her and his Old Man for allowing our presence, and it was surely a shock for them to find a strange car in their drive and the rest of the NMBC fleet outside when they returned home while we were riding. And his Dad eased my mind somewhat about the state some of us left his pavement in when the hosepipe came out (Alex can take the wrap though).

Thanks for a great ride Alex, and I'm sure we'll all be queuing up for the next one.

here's the Stewart's Showtime and Speedian's Screenplay and Gollum's Gallery

and vidz: one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve fifteen

still some more enthralling vidz to come...