All we wanted to do today was go for a ride somewhere, after last weekend's failure to reach our destination. Arrivals at Gollum's place at Holystone for this one on Sunday 23rd March 2008 were Steve W, still dying to hammer his new Specialized Stumpy Pro into submission, Jason with his fine example of "English Engineering", the Whyte E-5 and surprise turnouts by Mick H and Giant on a rare day off and young Chris D with his Mongoose. Chris hasn't done a Sunday ride with us before but has become a regular Thursday Nighter. That left Golly himself with the re-assembled DDG Mutha raring to go once more after months out of service due to swingarm bearing failure. It had done only 420 miles from new, so I don't give the bearings many out of ten for longevity but the bike is a screamer for the price.

Mick was kind enough to offer his car for the trip as we still had Derek to pick up at Cramlington, so that's where we headed around 9:20 am. Derek jumped in with Mick while his Stumpy Expert joined the other bikes on the trailer and off we went to meet Terry H and Dave who travelled straight up there from their coast homes. After meeting up the eight of us started the ride just after 10.15 ish, if my memory isn't totally fried.

Terry moved off towards high ground and dragged the troupe up the hill to the first forest entry point at the Rothbury end. This makes it quite a climb all the way up to the Crags and it started to thin us out a little on the road drag, and once again after regrouping at the gate. Once up there, however, it was time to attack the singletrack.

At this point I should probably moan about forgetting my SPD shoes and having to ride in my Hush Puppy moccasins, but that would be a bit childish and petty of me, would it not? But I do have to mention that small thing as this could well and truly have wrecked my ride and slowed me to, say, Jason's speed. It would have, had it not been for the even greater generosity of Mick who was straight there offering me the platform tops off his own SPDs. Without those, well, it would have been almost as bad as not getting on the bike at all last Sunday. Thanks a lot Mick.

We hit the Crags changing places up front as we did so. I have one apology to make here (no, not to Jason for the slur on his performance!) and that is lack of photographic evidence. I was ready to take my fairly new Panasonic Lumix  digital camera back to the supplier as it had failed a few times on previous rides. However, I'd tried it the night before this one and it seemed to work OK. What I hadn't done, however, was to shove the big memory card back in, so I had it filled up after one minute of video here!

The plummet down the rock chute at the eastern end of the Crags lived up to it's dangerous tag, even more so with a covering of snow. I was third in line behind Terry and Dave, when suddenly the latter disappeared as if beamed up by aliens! He'd attempted a sneaky bypass manoeuvre near the bottom of Part One but got hung on a Christmas tree! A few minutes alter all were safely down, by hook or by crook and we had a short rest to discuss the challenge before tackling the next mad descent. Once again we all got down safely and then we took to the trees at the fork for the bridge, Gollum suggesting the right turn for a change with a nice fast, floaty drop under the trees to the somewhat precarious tree trunk stream crossing. That's where, as we passed the bikes one-handed over the stream, you could really notice the difference in their weights. Quite an eye-opener, it was, and certainly confirmed recent conclusions about the weight of Steve's new mount in particular.

Time to head uphill again now to the narrow, fern-overgrown singletrack along the lower edge of the valley under the Crags. And that's where the Gollum managed to sink his front wheel in a black hole hidden below a stinking peat puddle, sending him sailing over the bars in classic Flying W style to land in a trough of the smelly black bilge. From that point on even Mick's platform pedal tops were almost impossible to keep Golly's sodden, peat-oiled moccasins mounted on.

We continued, getting light relief from the dry, sandy nature of this section of trail before reaching Ground Zero, and time to pull upthe long climb north aside the tree line over the moors. This entailed quite a lot of walking, especially for derek and Golly at the back. Once at the top, however, it was time to sniff a place to eat. The top was very exposed, but we waited there a few minutes to regroup before singletracking uphill again to find a lunch stop. After one false start due to a headwind hitting our favourite clearing, we took to the trees a bit further up the hill and settled down to bait time.

After about 15 minutes it was time to seek out the juicy bits as we shadowed Dave and Terry through the final quagmire to the top fireroad, the one with the viewing points scattered along it. And that's where Terry had the misfortune to suffer the only puncture of the day as we hunted for the drop off the hillside. Once that was fixed we located the drop and Golly launched himself down it with terry and Dave hot on his tail. About half way down Terry got bored with Golly's progress and promptly overtook on a gnarly bit - whooooosh! We'd had a discussion after lunch about whether to tackle this off-camber, steep, rooty, rocky and rapid drop and against the advice of the Two Terrys, everyone had wanted to do it, dodgy weather or not! And it was a pair of pleasantly surprised  Terrys who, at the bottom, counted everyone down safely and much quicker than expected. What a squad!

We had to do a gentle climb before we found the very discreet entrance to the final singletrack downhill, and it was here, right at the bottom, where the Gollum floored himself spectacularly as he decided at the last minute to chicken out of the metre-high log ramp built by the local nutters for their triple-crown machinery to launch off. he slithered to a halt at the side of the jump but managed to get up quickly and clear the path for the following riders. From here it was fireroad again all the way back to the top (north) car park where Golly gathered his senses and [put the DDG through it's paces in top gear to zoom up the banks. He almost zoomed too far but heard the recall whistles behind as there was need for a quick discussion on whether or not to take to the trees again. That's where Derek's local knowledge came in handy saving us from a possible unnecessary detour.

That meant yet another climb up the fireroads, which poor Chris didn't enjoy at all, with the Mongoose's extra weight penalty now telling on his weary legs. Gollum was only too glad to drop to the back and slowly rise to the top, and the entry to the first of this sections singletrack downhills, again constructed by the local enthusiasts from Wooler and the surrounding area. There are loads of these and it would take all day to find them all and ride them, as many slice through the same plantations but start and then emerge at different heights. We chose the one we did last time, across Black Walter, with Terry and Dave volunteering to lead off and map the route for the rest of us.

When we popped out at the next fireroad there was a continuation of the trail straight across from the exit. However, we had to wait some minutes as Steve and Chris hadn't popped out yet. Golly walked back up the trail a hindered metres or so emitting his famous "where are you-oo-oo" calls, and eventually Steve came into view with Chris a little way behind. Regrouped and rested a little, it was Golly's turn to head the next section, which proved to be very pleasant and pretty fast, but not as lumpy as the one we used on our last ride.

We were again on fireroad and took a long time to agree on our next direction change. derek was sure there was a singletrack somewhere off to the right of this fireroad and proceeded to freewheel down the track towards the cars, peering into the trees as he went. Just as we though he'd given up the search, he made that famous Eros Statue pose in the distance to indicate something. haven't a clue what, but the rest of us followed anyway, and sure enough there was the track. There wasn't a lot of evidence of MTB tyre tracks on this one but it sure took us to the last fireroad. Another short discussion on previous visits decreed we head back uphill on this fairly gentle slope, and within 5 minutes we'd found the final singletrack entry on Coe Hill between the fireroad and the Coe Burn.

Terry blasted left off the road straight into the trail and the chase by Gollum and Dave lasted but a minute or two. That's when terry's Fusion Floyd literally ground to a halt with the rear derailleur lying in the spokes ABOVE the rear hub - definitely not it's most efficient position. That turned out to be the result of a snapped gear hanger. This happened just after Terry had done a spectacular left hand slide around a rooty stump, and the hanger may well have been whacked off it just then. Whatever the cause, we were too close to the cars to start singlespeeding the German device so we just tied the dangly bits to the chainstays end let him run the last kilometre while Golly led the others a merry dance down to the finish.

Total distance on Golly's bike PC was 14.5miles, max 26.1mph, rolling time 2hrs 34mins, average speed 5.6mph. A great ride considering the very claggy conditions on the well-worn bits, Steve was pleased with the Stumpy's performance on the rough stuff, and Chris got a taste of what's coming if he does any more Sunday rides with us.

little vid coming later...

Keep watching and if you fancy a ride out with us, drop us a line here: bailout@midaircrisis.org.uk