Of course, anyone whose ever ridden with them will be well aware of their supreme downhill ability as a group. They regularly take 40 miles per hour plunges in their stride. However, this is a tarmac figure. Switch the crew over to Steve Peat territory and you might get a different result. As this was my first time, it was with some trepidation that I set out into the unknown around 9.05, having waited for my MidAirCrisis babies to arrive as expected, but none showed. Mother Hen just had to shove off by then with no chickies in sight.

The Downhill competition wasn't the only highlight of the day. The other was the appearance of "Fatboyreiver" himself, Dave H, now getting out and about and recovering from his dreadful accident last year. Maybe I shouldn't use the word "appearance" as Dave certainly bashed himself up thoroughly when he came off his bike that fateful day on the moors. We all continue to wish him well and hope he makes a good recovery. He sounded pretty realistic about his future prospects. Tom and Julie took Dave for a good long walk while the rest of us started climbing out of the car park. Gavin didn't disappoint, either, with steep upward angles to negotiate along with plenty of wet ground.

In his defence, it wasn't very long before we reached a smashing quarter mile downhill singletrack where old Golly was only too happy to lead off at Gavin's invitation. That lasted a couple of very enjoyable minutes down to a river crossing (point 608 at Carey Burn). Luckily there was a short rest before proceeding, as by now I must be famous for blowing everything on the downs and having nowt left for the verts. 2.5 miles on the clock here, and maximum off-road speed reached. Luckily I managed to completely free off the Barracuda's rear brake last night, so no drag today. The other mod I made was to steal the luxuriously soft, cloth-covered saddle from my better half's Raleigh tourer and that was a fantastic improvement on the killer Bontrager blade I've used since wrecking the original seat last year. Actually, that wasn't all I did to the Cuda yesterday. I made a rear mudguard for it. And I mean mudguard, as in "old school dry arse". Laugh as much as you like, soggy suckers.

More puddles, more mist, more rain, more boggy bits and a couple more nice downers later (just after point 610 aside Hawsen Burn and again soon after turning east to follow Harthope Burn for most of its length) we arrived at the top of the Downhill run. As we were waiting at the top trying to get in touch with Timekeeper Tom via walkie-talkie, I was stunned to see a squad, about ten, of PROPER Downhillers, complete with triple clamp forks on some mighty-looking rigs and even Deemax wheels come trundling past us up the hill. They headed off down a muddy bank we'd just walked up, so they must have had another target in mind. And yes, there is plenty of DH uppy-downy in this area for kiddies to play on.  Anyway we couldn't make contact wirelessly so Ray volunteered to time himself down first and then clock everyone else. We left at 3 minute intervals. Ray leaves the top - 3.5MB .mpg vid.

Ray , Gavin, Jeff then it was Gollum's turn. This is a great little piece of trail under heavy tree cover, and is quite technical (between points 613 and 614 on map left). It got a bit too technical for scrawny little wizened old cyclists about 15 seconds from the finish. Wallop!!! Off came the Gollum in a heap on a high root lip straddling two trees. Golly went between them while the Cuda turned left. Hurt my right thigh but like a true trooper, remounted quickly to complete the drop and accept the embarrassment heaped on me, deservedly, at the bottom. Actually the first three down were quite sympathetic behind the grins, cheers lads! That left Willie , Dave (I think it was another Dave, still haven't nailed all the Reivers - too many of them!) and finally Arthur to fight their way down. At the end of it, Jeff rightly claimed the magnificent silver trophy with fastest run of the day. I don't have the times but if anyone cares to e-mail them to me I'll stick 'em in here later.

Back at the cars I think I caught Gavin suggesting that some "old bu**er" had finished second, but who cares, it was a nice short ride and a good laugh, and I've discovered somewhere new to take the MidAirMen for a bit of a skills test some time. As soon as the prizes had been laid out I grabbed a shot of the trophy presentation and hauled ass. It was still only 5 degrees and I couldn't warm up, so I left the crazy gang setting fire to a frying pan as they prepared to knock up some bacon sarnies!

A triumphant Jeff gets his trophy from a passing Sixties Rock Star

My GPS said 10.9 miles, max 24.9mph, 2hrs 54 mins total time and the bike PC 11 miles, 1hr 48mins rolling, 6.1mph average.

See my mudguard here!!!