Time for our final away "treat" before the proposed trip to Skye and the Highlands in a fortnight. Shame summer didn't bother turning up yet. Today, Sunday 6th July 2008 saw another meagre display of support for our travels in the form of Chris D who's become a real glutton for punishment, Steve W now also a regular NMBC trekkie, his mate Michael again who seems intent on destroying his body and self confidence by picking our hardest rides to attend, and Jason who would have to be poisoned with both legs removed before he'd miss a Glentress ride. And the Gollum, of course.

Due to join us at the far end were Chris K who we met with his troupe at Kielder a while ago, and whose bike felt good enough to persuade Golly to get the very same Trek Fuel EX-8, and Reivers Ian B and Mick F who are two very handy lads to know if you want the inside story on Big G (Glentress). Sure enough, when we finally pulled into the very busy Hub car park, all three were there as threatened. We kicked off the ride around 11:20 or so, in almost Arctic conditions with a very threatening sky overhead.

Once onto the first climb it wasn't long before thoughts turned to removing some clothing as the heat began to build up under the Camelbaks. This first singletrack heave has long been my nemesis, but they've only gone and cissified it by building in a series of switchbacks at the top end, which means the savagery of the climb is now a thing of the past. It still gave Michael a wee taste of what was awaiting him further on, but he kept grinning on his awesome Marin downhiller, circa 1998 and still looking good, for a set of scaffold poles. Spot the log pile >

Atop this first section, and only 10 minutes up the hillside, poor Steve managed to either nip a tube or pick up a splinter as his front tyre went phizzz. That took about five minutes before we got rolling again, with the main topic of conversation being the aforementioned changes to the trail, principally on the Blue, which Mick and Ian were only too keen to share their knowledge of with us. The way they described the final drop to the Hub made it sound great, not like a Blue at all. We'd find out a few hard hours later.

Below - three Queens Park Rangers met us there - Mick F with his Genesis steel hardtail  (whatever turns you on!), Chris K with his lush Trek Fuel EX-8 (coz I've got one) and Ian B with the beautiful long-travel but lightweight Commencal Meta 666 (coz I want one!).

Onto the Black we ascended, and really we weren't going to meet too many riders going that way today. The singletrack was pretty wet with an abundance of tricky slate, rock and root to negotiate as we threaded ourselves ever-upward onto the Tower Ride and beyond. With Michael taking the Marin for a wee walk up some of this, we all got up to the Helly Hansen Hut a few moments before him for our lunch stop, just in time to displace a bunch of Ian's pals, serious bikers who'd blown us off a few miles before we started the verts. It's quite a while since I could claim to have stayed mounted up every piece of uphill to this point. Dunno if it's the feel of the new Trek or the fact I've been biking to work for a month, but it felt good. I'd have liked to hang onto Jason's tail a bit better but he was taking no prisoners today, unusually not having a hangover, and wanting to give his Whyte E5 a good thrash with its beautiful new Mavic CrossMax SLR wheels. He flew up everything.

the lads muck around while Jay paints his nails Michael - Up There!

Once we'd got nosh out of the way it was time to introduce the new boys to Britney Spears and her luscious curves. Obviously not the one you're thinking of, no, this is the lush section of downhill swervery that gets you from the Hut to the Radio Mast. Or more accurately, to the foot of the hill the Radio Mast stands on. You have to nail that last bit yourself, and as in other places here on the Black, the Gollum has normally walked at least part of this horrendous incline. Not today, however, as once again he managed to stay on his wheels.

And below - that face turns up everywhere!

When we gathered at the top it was time to plan the next phase, as one or two ideas had been floated on the way up. Last time we took the fireroad straight down to the top of Spooky Wood, did a lap and came straight back to the Black the same way. Chris K had done something similar in the past but going further on the Black before reaching Spooky, and rejoining the Black lower down. Ian and Mick had plans for another diversion on the way back, but all three stayed with us for the chosen Spooky Wood run. We hurtled down that, and here's' a couple of video grabs of the lads coming down about 400 metres from the start. It took a while for Steve and Michael to arrive as the latter had chosen the eased-off drizzle at the top to turn his front tyre around! Very strange, but there was also a Gollum present with exactly the same problem! Steve reckoned he could suddenly see where he was going, as the spray from the ground was now going out the side of the bike instead of directly up into his face. Good spot Steve!

Time for Mick to direct the party from the bottom of the Greatest Trail On Earth back up the switchbacks to the fireroad again, to take us all the way back up to the Radio Mast. We took another short break here before it was time for Jason to lead off on the first of the many fantastic drops through the forest on the Boundary Trail. Pretty impressive riding behind Steve and Chris D along here as they also stayed mounted on all of the climbs, including the dodgy bits they hadn't seen before. The other Chris was doing the same up front with Jason, Ian and Mick, while poor Michael was still on his prayer mat hoping everything would point downward from here on. Not quite!

Spooky Foot has been invaded by Klingons, or... Committee meets

Golly managed to blow his back tyre on a hard rocky turn and waved the others by as they stopped to render assistance. He caught the group up at the head of Deliverance, and it was here that Ian, Mick, Chris K and Michael decided to take the quicker route back to the cars, heavy bikes, the weather and time all having an influence on their decision. That left old hands Jason and Gollum to lead newbies Steve and Chris D on the blast down the fantastic, stony, very wet and fairly quick Deliverance descent. What a trail. Unfortunately, all good things must end, and so it was we reached the base of the drop to be confronted by that innocent-looking right hander with nothing but climb, climb, climb ahead for the next goodness-knows-how-far on the Redemption climb. Yet again, however, we all stayed seated and made it all the way, with Jason shooting off up front again and Steve trying to keep him in sight. Chris and Golly set a much more leisurely pace in order to give the lead pair a decent rest before catching them.

end of The Bitch Michael's protest!  and his reward

We tooled through Ewok Village, with nobody willing to risk the soaking seesaw, settling for the tricky log drops and rock gardens on the way back down to join the Red Route after safely negotiating The Bitch. next up Magic Mushroom and the final, brand new Blue roller coaster all the way down to the lower fireroad and the car park again. This bit of fresh trail is pretty much unlike any other Blue Route - it's jam-packed with 3 to 4 foot high jumps, all with chicken runs for your "usual" Blue riders, but if you take to the peaks it is phenomenal, as you hit these things every 50 metres in some places, and our wheels seemed to be airborne all the way down. Exactly what our Reivers pals had described to us at the start, and almost worth the trip here alone.

Glentress has done it again - left us with massive grins on our faces - and it's getting even better! Forever Number One, and once you've done it you'll know exactly why. Ride completed around 4:30pm, home just after 7.

VIDZ!!! Already!

Ian on Spooky        Mick        Two Chris's         Jason        Steve & Michael        Chris D & Steve        Steve & Chris

  

Keep watching and if you fancy a ride out with us, drop us a line here: bailout@midaircrisis.org.uk