Rob, Dave, Pete, Stephen, Steve B, Jon, Suzanne, Tim, Ian B, Matt, Jason, Terry K.

A healthy response from members saw twelve riders congregate at Glentress for this latest in the series of Ian B's expert-led jaunts around the World's Best Trail Centre. A slight whoopsie saw Matt travelling up there alone after he mistimed his getaway, and we had Stephen using his car to carry himself and Steve B, Suzanne and Ian B in his car and we left the rack off the GollyMobile for some reason, so with Dave and Rob travelling up there together separately the travel arrangements were a total cock-up with an extra two vehicles there for no good reason. Never mind, we'll learn as we go (not!). New member Pete had really taken our stinging comments about his old (1994) bike to heart when he first came out on the Holy Island ride and had now bought himself a much fitter Orange 5 Pro hardtail which should hang together forever. Stephen was also about to enjoy his first Trail centre experience after doing a couple of more natural rides with us lately.

It was pretty cool in the car park but the feared wetness wasn't around as we set off up the new singletrack climb to the Buzzard's Nest car park. Plan was to do the Red and final Blue with some of Ian's extras chucked in along the way. Today it was Dave's turn to feel a little sluggish on the climbs, but both Tim and the Gollum were more than happy to travel a bit slower to keep him company at the rear. Meanwhile, Suzanne was getting back into her stride as she slowly regains her fitness.

When we reached the Freeride area it wasn't cool any more so a short pause was taken before Jason led away on that amazing Trek 69er singlespeed thing he's riding until his Whyte is repaired after it's battering on the Trans Wales, where he performed staggeringly well this year. His power on the climbs aboard such an animal is startling.

The first Red singletrack drop got us all going nicely, with puddles in places but overall the conditions were pretty good if a bit damp. Under the trees there was plenty of dry trail. It's such a shame that to get up to Spooky Wood you have to exert yourself, and when Ian B, Dave, Tim and Golly reached the fireroad it became apparent that there may be some sort of pacemaking going on with the lead group, who'd vanished altogether. When the laggers got to the picnic table there were only a couple of fast lads left, but seconds later Jon, Matt, Pete, Rob and Jason re-appeared behind us after they'd already had a run down Spooky without waiting!

We took our lunch break as the freezing wind blew pretty strongly, enough to numb a few body parts. It wasn't long before someone decided it would be calmer and warmer down below, so off we shot to enjoy this fabulous three minute drop to the Meteorite below. And speaking of that rock, when we got down there, Matt managed to maim himself after he'd gone over to read the Klingon inscription and his Trek slid away from underneath him. And that after nailing it safely down Spook Wood twice!!!

We all followed Ian B up the Blue next to enjoy it's brilliant downhill bermy, twisty, rapid descent before hitting fireroad below. Then we discounted a few short Black sections in favour of a horrific drop I've never done before and which Ian has avoided in the past due to damp conditions. It was still damp in places today as we all tried to get down the thing, comparable I would say to a couple of Thrunton's hidden delights - sheer drops in places over massive tree roots. Impossible to ride down fully, and most of us had a couple of simple offs as we tried to slither down the thing. Golly's conclusion - a total waste of time and energy, interrupting the otherwise pacey flow of our ride, but I suppose it was good to get it done. Once is enough though.

Climb time saw us recover the large amount of lost height to bring us to the Meteorite again. We had another rest here before Suzanne and Golly got the drop on the others to hammer down Spooky Two (Hit Squad Hill). I said she was trying to regain her fitness, and that is true, but crikey, she hasn't lost any downhill speed! That featherweight carbon Stumpy Expert was hardly on the ground all the way down as she just ripped it all! I may not be amongst our quickest but I was pretty much flat out here and not gaining anything on her, so if her fitness returns fully I doubt if we'll see her for dust.

Spooky Three saw Ian B refusing to head the Gollum after our last visit on ian's Birthday Bash, when he claimed that Golly had pushed him into the trees along here. So now he wanted his revenge and jumped on the fool's tail this time. We were fairly going at it once again but soon encountered a youthful road block in the form of Tim, who slowed us to a much more reasonable and safe pace. Cheers Tim, I owe you. No doubt Ian will get another chance to force me off the road some time soon.

With the Pie Run being snubbed this time we headed uphill again for more Red singletrack and the start of the homeward loop. Charging down into the Magic Mushroom, poor Rob became a wet tree root victim, or so we thought, when he came real purler at the first boardwalk, falling just at its start. From the fireroad behind, Steve B and the Gollum heard the shout go up, from Matt and Suzanne, we think, so we tooled down into the woods to find Rob doubled up in agony with damage to his left shoulder, ribs and lower leg. I think we know how quickly he must have been travelling here, and any contact with a firmly rooted, immovable object like a tree trunk was bound to induce big pain. While he tried to stand up and investigate the damage, Tim removed Rob's figure-of-eight front wheel which the Gollum then proceeded to batter into submission until it fit between the Enduro's forks again. Then he pushed it back to the fireroad so Rob could heave himself into the saddle and limp back down to the Hub cafe to start the recovery process.

Every time somebody (OK, me!) mentions our poor safety record over the last year, another nasty injury occurs, so I won't mention it again. As if that'll help. Returning to his own bike at the boardwalk, everyone but Tim and Steve had vanished so the three of us had a nice leisurely cruise down over the wet bridges (thank goodness they still have their wire netting carpets) to rejoin the others for the climb back up to the Buzzard's Nest for the second time today, and that dramatic Blue finish.

We took a slightly longer rest here to shore up the lost energy then it was time to hit the jumps and berms of the final run. Still can't fathom how it can be this good and still have a Blue classification, although the width of the trail and the chicken runs around each take-off do allow for anyone to descend it quickly and safely. As usual we chose the latter method. Once again Golly got the chance to follow Suzanne and she whizzed down this bit aswell taking advantage of most of the steepest drop-offs and ramps on the way, the little Stumpy looking a bit like Jason in the air with the tail coming out when airborne, great to watch from behind, although Suzanne said at the bottom she was out of control, but I don't think so. Following Ian B down off the fireroad into the singletrack from the Red Squirrel car park we did have to back off a little towards the end as a slow "outsider" just managed to nip onto it in front of us and that must have been our slowest ever descent down the last little chunk of this fantastic trail.

We stashed the bikes, got changed and headed to the Hub for a cuppa to find Rob ensconced at an outside table, managing to sit up straight and produce a pained grin. No broken bones but a good helping of Monday morning soreness on the way. We indulged ourselves for 15 minutes or so until Stevie B produced a surprise birthday cake for the Gollum which was swiftly sliced up and shared, one sliver each. Then bu@@er me if Ian (Barmpot) B didn't start singing "Happy Birthday" with the rest joining in to provide a mammoth dose of embarrassment for Golly after the Speedian had leaked this top secret information. Anyway, ta for that, you morons. Home around 18:30 after another great Ian B led ride around Heaven (with due respect to Rob's injury, of course!).