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Sunday 9th September 2007 and so many people had committed themselves to other things today (how dare they?) that it was touch and go whether the ride would be on at all. However, they had almost all made their plans known to either Derek or Terry so that those two didn't need to hover too long at the pickup point in Forest Hall before realising it was going to be a cosy little ride today. Just before 10.00 am Ian (Speedian) knocked on the Gollymobile window, much to the other two's surprise, but he wasn't joining us as he was just out to shake the cobwebs off. Actually, he didn't know it was us in the car, but he needed someone to take him across the road as he'd had a bit more than the legal unit count for bikers the night before. Good job he didn't breathe through the open window or we'd all have been done. Hope he got home OK!
At 10.05 we departed in the direction of the Wild West (yes, Ryton) to collect Paul W. Luckily he had texted Terry the night before about his pickup, otherwise there may have been only two for the Forest, such is the Gollum's memory in this, his brand new 57th year on the planet. Paul arrived bang on time at the Runhead and soon after we were on our way to Corbridge. We got to Kielder Castle car park at about 11.15 pm to start our ride in cloudy, breezy conditions and 14 degrees.
Our plan was to do the new, hopefully finished Red Route then jump onto the Black at the start of the Deadwater Fell Red Loop. So off we popped, Derek leading us into the initial three downhill singletrack sections after Gollum overshot the first one on the fireroad. These are a pretty good intro for what is to come, and with a couple of tight bends and small jumps they help set your concentration levels. The first climb from the road through to Newcastleton turned out to be a rude awakening for Paul who was glad of a short rest half way up. Derek, as usual, was scuttling up the climbs to rub our noses in it. This stretch up to Kersey Cleugh, where Paul had to walk, probably initiated a dull ache he developed which made him feel less than healthy, so progress was gentle up to the 3 Dog Climb, 600 feet above Kielder Castle. It was there that he felt even worse and couldn't face any more climbing. I know that feeling pretty well having suffered it on hundreds of rides in the last 5 or 9 years, so I sacrificed my scheduled uphill race with Derek to keep Paul company on foot until he recovered.
And recover he did, but not until we'd stopped at the Deadwater Junction© (I've just invented that, by the way, so Copyright GollyPower©). We sat here for lunch at 12:45 behind a 2 metre wide trail sign to keep the freezing wind off us, one of the many new signs that at last make the place look complete and deliberate. Once we'd made sure Paul had recovered, and he'd topped up with Loony Tune food in the shape of Peanut M&Ms, we were ready to reap the rewards of what is a fairly stiff altitude test before you reach the fruits.
After we'd nattered to a couple of pairs of visiting riders, and shared Gollum's hand-scrawled map with them, Derek disappeared suddenly, chucking his Stumpy down onto the Red singletrack, followed by Golly with Paul behind. This first drop is a cracking bit of swooping, bermy, jumpy, drop-offy fast as you like bliss, and worth climbing back up for. When I arrived at the bottom, the other four riders we'd met up above were resting after their descents, yakking to Derek. We had a long discussion with them, mainly about wearing helmets as one of them wasn't. But he's promised to get one after we plied him with horror stories about people who've had accidents without them. We though Paul was being extremely polite, allowing us all this time to talk. But he wasn't. He was extracting himself from a rock garden after coming a right purler half way down the trail! I knew those blue M&Ms were dodgy. Anyway, we were just ready to launch a search when he appeared at normal speed, enjoying the last bit of the trail. His right knee told the tale. What is it about Pauls that make them want to destroy their knees? (Paul C two weeks ago at Hamsterley, Paul McCartney in 1962 on the Mull of Kintyre, Pope Paul 34th on the Vatican Downhill in AD120 - I could go on).
After that lovely starter we'd arrived at Jimmy's Hill, and we'd already decided that we wouldn't go straight through to All Along The Watchtower (Red Trail) but that we'd do a left here and go out to the Black for our run to the finish. A great idea, but it had one drawback - an almost unrideable climb over rock gardens you just wanted to ride in the other direction - frustrating. Derek gave it his best shot and made it up most of Devil's Elbow and Up and Over. Gollum, however, was the only one to take on the full North Shore planks, and survived it against the odds and gusty wind. Once past this point, the landscape took a distinct turn downwards and again we were off pretty quickly, blasting round the berms and over the drop-offs at a very reasonable rate, adrenalin allowing Paul to forget his pain and enjoy the dramatic bobsleigh run down For Peat's Sake and Stumpy Hill. There were nothing but massive grins on the three little cherubic faces (well, two cherubs and a Rock Gollum) at the bottom of this first Black section.
We didn't hang around very long before tackling stage two of the three Black drops, and this once again proved to be an excellent bit of trail, technically demanding as a Black should be, but containing enough thrills to satisfy any amateur MTBer. They've called it Forrest's Drive and Adder Nuff. The last bit is badly named - you could never have enough of this stuff. Hitting fireroad for the second time brought us to the top of the final run down. Gollum took the front for this, launching off the four foot drop-offs at the top of Rattle Snake and plummeting down (I think I was plummeting) Snakebite on Black. After successfully negotiating (yes, jumping) the drainage gap at the bottom, mainly because he knew it was there from his last two visits to the unfinished trail, he thought it wise to warn Derek and Paul. Paul was first to appear and just managed to interpret Golly's shouts of "Jump!, Jump!" in time to get his front wheel up and over. His rear, however, (wheel, that is) clattered into the top of the exit and he was lucky to hang on to the Stumpy M4 as it lurched sideways towards Bad Landing Number Two. Well held Paul, thriving on adrenalin today! When Derek arrived he took the more sensible approach as the other two yelled at him, and stopped at the take-off to carry over the hole. After following him down the top two sections, however, he'd already cleared more airspace than this one needed but our yells probably cost him the jump. Next time.
All that was left now was fireroad back to the castle. Amazingly, we were only showing 6 and a bit miles on the clocks! Yes, it was past 2 o'clock now, but we couldn't go home yet! So about a mile nearer the car, the Gollum took a right off the Forest Drive heading straight back up Ravens Hill towards the Black again, with the intention of doing the last section of Red Trail back to the car park. This fireroad took us to The Superbowl, which is a little bowl-shaped circle of track put there for a laugh, I reckon. It's like a mini Skills Loop but only a hundred metres in diameter with a drop through the middle and a jump half way down it. A couple of things happened here. Derek tried it out first, no drama. Then it was Paul's turn, and his back wheel fell off, luckily on the uphill slow bit! That must have been the result of his close shave at the bottom of the Black, but he hadn't exerted any pressure on it until now. Lucky man! Golly's turn now, and miraculously Derek caught him on camera, a rare event itself, but even rarer to catch him with his wheels up styling it! And it felt great! The other happening was the appearance of two lads from Sunderland, new to MTBing, who began to seek advice from Derek about all things MTB. Paul and Terry joined the conversation, and yet again Golly found someone wearing a cloth hat! Once more we rolled out the horror stories and explained the potential dangers. Didn't have to try too hard this time, as the lad had just cracked his skull against a rock anyway! Fortunately he got away with it this time and he said he'd definitely invest in a lid now. Good man. We also offered them a ride out with us some time down at their end if they get in touch.
Only one section left now, the end of the Red Trail and definitely the longest section of downhill singletrack at Kielder. With Derek at the front and Paul at the back we absolutely nailed this bit. It just goes on and on and on and - you've seen the advert... It also, very conveniently, spits you out in the boot of your car, which is great after a tiring ride. Still less than 9 miles on the bike PCs, average speed 5.8 mph, max 29.3 mph (on singletrack, NOT fireroad!) and 1 hour 28 mins rolling time. God knows how but even Derek was knackered at the end of this one - we think we're not getting out on the hills enough lately. That's all about to change. New riders take note! (but don't worry).
Having been sceptical about the whole place on previous visits I now take it all back. If you like a bit of high speed danger, get yourself here soon, it's fantastic. That last Red stretch is worth the car park charge itself, as if we care. Well done Kielder Reavers who helped plan and build the trails here - you've done a great job. I just wish I'd been able to help, but laziness and running a club got in the way. We loaded up the bikes and toured around the Reservoir to the Visitor Centre Tea Shop at Tower Knowe where Paul licked his nicely oozing wounds and we discussed the finer points of how to plant your face in the scenery. Nice coffee.
Oh - and a couple more "well dones" - first to Paul for overcoming his initial duffness and really getting stuck in, and for ignoring his body damage - I think it paid off handsomely. And last to Derek, who's become a completely different rider to the hill climbing moor trekking head down pedal grinder he was when I met him - now he gets his wheels off the deck and can tackle any obstacle we do making him possibly, together with Jason K, the most complete all-rounder we have. And he can read a map!
Keep watching and if you fancy a ride out with us, drop us a line here: bailout@midaircrisis.org.uk