Unlike last Thursday night, this one, December 11th, was REALLY cold, with the roads and footpaths (which we don't ride on, of course) like glass. That didn't deter another healthy turnout of another 12 hardy souls, including the fingerless-glove wearing Katy. Once we'd got her digits covered we were off in search of adventure, but very cautiously. Those present were the aforementioned Katy who was directed to the Cave by Alex, Arthur, Chris D, Chris K, Ian A, Ian M, Jon, Steve B (bored by his Microsoft programming books and turning up ON HIS BIKE!), Stewart, Tim and Gollum. AND if you wonder why Ritchy and Wayne have a black 'X' on the Ride List, it's because they rode past the Cave at 10:20pm while I was trying to wash the Trek as they'd done their own ride but couldn't get out until 8:00pm. More MidAirManiacs!
Tonight it was Arthur's turn to direct the ride, assuming the role of Santa's Little Helper. He'd seen something he felt would brighten up our night, enliven our souls and possibly make us cringe. So off he spurted back along the Great Lime Road whence he'd come, at a fair old gallop on the icy verge. By the time he'd got us to our turnoff at the Church I was completely knackered and couldn't feel my face! He dragged us up to Killingworth Village and we crossed into the new estate at the top of the trail. And there, before our eyes, was a Christmas Wonderland. Can't remember the street name but go to the roundabout at the road above Morrisons at Killingworth, turn right and keep going slightly clockwise for about a mile past the daft give-way bits, then turn right when you see a glow in the sky.
The Gollum led into the trees at Singletrack One alongside Cramlington Waggonway and at the end of it the fast lads took over at the front, from the Hillheads Crossing, led by Jon and Alex. Golly just happened to latch onto Chris K's back wheel and got a birds-eye view of his spectacular Flying W over the handlebars when he managed to find, and collide with, a small tree lying next to the trail! Some nameless little bu@@ers had set fire to it and it was completely black, and hence invisible in the dark. Didn't take an almost back-to-normal Chris very long to climb back onto his Trek and brush off what could have been another tricky landing.
With the newer lads waiting down at the crossroads wondering which way to go, the Gollum got the jump on them, by turning left instead of right and heading up to the top of the hill with Stewart. After sending "Scotland the Scared" the wrong way, it was left to some other ~@:@~ to push Golly over a very heavy field crossing and down to the Burradon bridleway below. Relief came for very tired legs at the bottom when good old Rubber Man himself, wee Chris D, got a PUNCTURE!
We thought he'd given these up as a bad joke, but somehow his spanking new Giant Trance X1 decided to christen one of it's tubes on the coldest ride of the year. Great. After removing said tube, and on Golly's advice (oh,oh) the same tube was put back in without attention, the Silly One believing the valve nut to have been loose when he took the cap off. Minutes later it was out again, as flat as Eoghan Quigg's face, to be replaced by Chris' spare.
After spending 10 or 15 minutes here we were all nice and cosy in well below-zero temperatures and quite anxious to move on, Jon sped off down to the road and then again the Gollum took the reins to do the field crossing to Dudley. All this time Speedy (Ian A) was riding shotgun at the back to pick up any pieces. We were having to take a bit of care at every change of surface, and the only safe ones were grass, but a bit heavy to pedal.
We ducked into the side of Weetslade and dragged ourselves up that perishing Hill again, just so we could come down it (?). After a short rest up there the Speedian plunged down to one of his favourite rat runs through the gorse bushes with the rest of us trying to keep up. Plenty of exercise for the brake fingers on this descent! There were a few different techniques on display as the squad performed their drops, but the most impressive had to be that of Katy who did it standing up. Best explain that - she walked down with her Commencal, but that was much more difficult than riding!
As we gathered at the bottom, Arthur was first to discover just how slippery black ice is and went splat on the tarmac road after missing Golly's loud shouted warnings to keep off it. After that hard lesson we kept well off it on our way to the edge of the park, but just before the gate Golly decided a short detour would be fun. This consists of a nice little drop where some speed can be gathered. He did that but when he attempted to make the sharp left turn back up to join the others, Splat! That one ripped the side off his trousers a la Chris K and the icy gravel devoured a chunk of his left thigh. More tears. Once out of the Park into Wideopen, along an extremely difficult, ice-covered track it was time for Katy, very sensibly, to call it a night and head for home on the safest surface around - the gritted main road.
The rest of us continued up to the traffic lights and turned west towards Dinnington. Ian led us through some hitherto untried singletrack but conditions under-wheel seemed to be deteriorating by the minute, with large strips of solid ice almost everywhere. We managed to find a warm spot to stop at for a quick bite. Except I lied about it being warm. When we got underway again it got no easier and there were even more long stretches of flat, glassy ice to negotiate as we couldn't avoid it all. Spills were many but thankfully not serious. Must have a good crack at this route when it's a bit grippier - nice one, Ian.
After delicately crossing the bridge beyond the Seaton Burn singletracks we rode carefully past the Big Waters, where Chris K almost extracted revenge over Chris D after their pile-up at Whickham Thorns, and across to Brunswick, taking in the rest of our normal off-road route before joing the road at Hazlerigg. It was hard passing the chip shop but we managed without stopping to buy, and headed down to the Great North Road again before Speedy nipped into the Garden Centre to begin the last phase of our ride.
I must admit to not having a clue what to expect in the Park, but I remember praying it wasn't as treacherous as the outside world. As luck would have it, it wasn't! The trails around our regular fun park were either fairly firm, leaf-covered or deep mud. By the time we zigged and zagged our way through on yet another of Ian's totally unpredictable mystery tours, there wasn't a square inch of clean on any of our bikes, most being caked with black gunge, some of it a bit smelly! At the road north of Findus, Alex, Chris, Jon and soon after, Steve, made their getaway homeward.
Once Ian and Arthur had turned off at Forest Hall there were only three of us left as Tim and Chris D had romped away along the Great Lime Road. When the hose came out to wash the bikes it became apparent that the mud had turned to ice on the frames and wheels! It took a good long squirt to get most of the heavy stuff off as the water wasn't much warmer than the clag. We finished off around 10:30pm, cold and in some cases a bit fragile, but at least Gosy Park had afforded a goodly amount of hilarity as usual.
Christmas Stopover - Innerleithen/Glentress OR Mabie/Dalbeattie/Ae - talk NOW!
DON'T FORGET to sign up for a NEW Wiggle Account BEFORE you use the link below to earn
us some pennies
www.wiggle.co.uk
