Thursday 19th July 2007 provided confirmation that we hadn't scared off new member Keith from Forest Hall, as he turned up with Ian at Terry's place approaching 7.00pm. Minutes later, Jason arrived aswell. The Gollum, meanwhile, had got dressed for biking in his front garden at 6.45, expecting the appearance of another new rider who lives fairly close by, but who mustn't have got away from work as early as he needed to for this little gentle jaunt. We hovered around until 7.05,  just in case, then made our way up through Holystone farm where, at yon side of the fields, John and Derek were waiting patiently.

Terry was steering this little trip, at least to start with, and directed the group onto the Waggonway up to Hillheads. Derek took over here and headed the pleasantly sensible ride westwards past the pond and into Burradon. We crossed the main road staying with National Cycle Route 10 for the moment, and then scaling the heights of the Weetslade Colliery memorium.

We sat on the top long enough for a natter and to allow Golly to get his breath back, as he'd tried to cheat by tackling the grassy side of the peak to beat Jason and Derek, but failed. Perhaps if mounted on the DDG Mutha he may have made it, but tonight the CoilAir was being given a rare run out to bed in new tyres, and it's just too heavy to compete with a singlespeeder and a hero of the Trans Scotland and Trans Wales thrashes!

It was Ian's turn now to take us over to Brunton and he immediately dropped the leisurely ride poise to blast away off the top. Gollum followed bravely but just as he pulled level on the fastest part of the downhill, Speedian nerfed him sideways into the gulleys that flow down the hillside, so he was forced to slow to 8 tenths. Evil bu**er, I wasn't wearing armour!

We popped out on the main road through Wideopen, where Terry took the lead and rode up to the traffic lights in the centre and turned west again for Brunswick Village. At the bottom of the dip, those madly spinning legs of the Gearless One flew past the Gollum and stretched us out to Dinnington, soon joined by the mighty Jason, and then Keith who'd already shown last week that he'll never be last to arrive anywhere. Keith, by the way, was sporting a real natty line in  eyewear, really dazzling rainbow lenses designed to foil police speed traps. If you fancy some, let me know and I'll put you in touch. Going cheap. If you've got red eyes they're a perfect match.

The bulk of the squad of six had already reached the road to Kenton Bank Foot when they noticed no Gollum with them. Surely the silly old git can keep the Coiler turning on tarmac? Well, yes he can, but he was waiting at the gate into a field, expecting Derek to have wanted a wee blast of singletrack in case we got no more. The group somewhat reluctantly turned around to follow him, no doubt disappointed that they weren't going to make Carlisle tonight.

Once we'd sprained our ankles on the side of the corn field and clambered over the barbed wire at the end of it the next few minutes was payback for our patience. It was cloudy and around 9.00pm already threatening to turn dark quickly. We decided to loop backover from here and take in the woods at Brunton, to see if it was any drier than last time.

what's that comin over the field, is it a monster? closer...              

What  about this as proof that the Gollum can reach double figures?

We hit the Woods

It wasn't! After a few minutes of mad scrambling and follow-the-leader through the closely knit trees and mudbaths, and North Shore (yes!, really!) it wasn't long before someone came unstuck Big-Time. Who was it to be? None other than our Major Sponsor, Jason himself! However, he wasn't about to accept responsibility and blamed the Gearless One for stopping in front of him. The result was a sideways, clipped-in sploosh full length into a very wet, very cold and very mud filled bath of stinking gunge.

When we'd all stopped laughing, I mean sympathising, Speedian declared there were some nice downslopes amongst the trees just behind us. Ignoring the shouts of "I'm not going back in there again" behind him, he was off again like a scadded cat. Gollum jumped on his tail more than willing to take full advantage of the Coiler's springs to avoid problems in the Bush, but he didn't get very far. That's coz Ian didn't! He got about 3 metres and hit a massive root, piling off the Specialised like a ton of sh*t, straight over sideways. Luckily, he landed on plant life and didn't suffer Jason's misery. I managed to stand on his leg just enough to keep him down for this piccy.

The next few minutes provided another good blast until we hit tarmac again at the end of Hazlerigg Village, and we decided that it was time to get back east. We stayed on the road and/or pavements back to Gosforth park and with Ian directing again set out to do some of his secret trails. We'd only done the first section when there was a "bang" from somewhere between Speedian in front, John in the middle and the Gollum lying third. "You've got a flat" yelled Johnny to Ian, and sure enough...

A flat! No, 2 flats (Keith feels the front!) Speedian slowed down!

Not only was his rear tyre decompressed, but Keith also discovered the same fate had struck the front also! Double puncture wins a prize! We were there for the next 15 minutes as Ian fettled one and Golly the other. Time for those lovely little Friends of the Earth to pay us a visit in the twilight. So**ing Midges! Millions of them. As the Gollum sits here at home next day writing this garbage, he's stopping after every three keypresses to scratch one or both of his little forearms, which are now covered by pink volcanoes, exploding at will and growing bigger by the word! And there's a few under what's left of his hair, itching like crazy.

As it happens, that prompted another NMBC Committee meeting out in the wilds of Gosy Park, as Gollum had been getting it on good authority from a lot of work colleagues that Arran in August was maybe not the brightest plan every devised for a mountain biking holiday. Seems that the place is infamous for it's midge population, and they return every year with ever bigger teeth. Some discussion was held on the alternatives, including the Lake District, Wales and the Seven Stanes but nothing firmly decided. Gollum to investigate further and report back. SEE HERE NOW!

By now it was pretty late, and not very light, so we rode through the park on the roadway splitting into Cramlington and Toon groups for the last bit home.

Ian's bike PC said around 10 miles in a couple or three hours, fairly relaxed cruising and another great laugh at someone's expense.

Have you Killed A BIKE THIEF TODAY?