Once more Thursday Night Nausea drew the crowds on 19th march 2009. Turning out for this one were the following:

Ainis, Steve B, Ian A, Ian B, Ian M, Tim, Chris K, Chris D, Matt, Andy P, Terry H, Terry K, Jeff, Arthur, Jason, Richy, Wayne and Jon.

Ian "Speedy" A led the charge as we headed out towards Holystone Farm and that dreaded bog of a field crossing. Amazingly, however, it was almost bone dry after a week of sunshine and even the Gollum managed to get across to Killingworth Highfields amongst the front runners, and without gasting his flabber for once. We didn't get much further before a rather unusual problem presented itself in the form of Wayne's Right Foot. You may have seen the movie, but tonight we were re-enacting it.

Just as we paused at the end of Cramlington Waggonway, Wayne realised he couldn't unclip from his right pedal. It took him some time to get his foot out of the trapped spd shoe before finally managing to yank the shoe away from the bike. Between us we failed to get his cleat removed from the pedal so from then on he just had to use it as a footrest.

The short singletrack was despatched quickly and we motored up to Hillheads before the huge snake of red and white LEDs wound itself around the fields as we headed over to Burradon. Again, the normally nasty field crossing to Dudley provided easy pedalling and in no time at all we were entering the first gate into Weetslade. Speedy made sure that no-one avoided The Hill on this trip and there was another brief regrouping at the top pillars. Then it was time to try and catch him as he plummeted down towards the Rabbit Run and was comfortably first to arrive at the waggonway again.

Between them, he and Terry H managed to gap the last four or five riders but we all met again over the main road at Seaton Burn. Another short rest as someone explained to a passing biker exactly who we were before the hare was running again, down through the under-tree zigzag to the A1 crossing. It's been a while since we kept straight on at this point, but tonight Ponteland was our target so we shot straight over Route 10 to the southern tip of Dinnington Village, where Tim demonstrated his monster light output, before a very healthy cruise along the ranges and into the back of Pont. Somehow, the slowest bods tonight were anything but slow, although luckily for the Gollum, Ian B was still nursing a heavy cold which meant company for Golly, although Andy kindly hung around for support aswell.

Reaching Ponteland, we settled on the wall at the central traffic lights, a couple of the party being abused by a confused motorist. It had been a pretty quick ride so far, and this was a welcome rest for those of us with only 27 gears and no turbo boost. As is the norm, discussions varied widely from Wild Boar entries to adult entertainment and the rest. Then one or two backpacks got strapped back on and the herd began to stir again.

Up the road towards Darras hall before turning onto one of our favourite blast sites, except we nearly always do it the other way around. Five nutters led the breakaway group all the way up to the Airport. Actually it started off as six - Terry H, Jon, matt, Ian A, Ainis and Golly. Half way there Ainis made a slight error and allowed the Gollum to overtake him on the grass. But he was on the verge anyway. We continued up to the B6545 road and the lead group got across well clear of the others. Then Terry made an uncharacteristic error and missed the entrance to the next section of singletrack where the trail splits off to Black Callerton Hill. The Gollum, in fifth position but seeing it first, took full advantage and bolted away into the darkness with Matt and the rest in hot pursuit. He couldn't maintain his early pace, however, and moved over to let first Matt then Terry retake the lead with a few hundred metres to go.

The Terminal roundabout became the next resting place as we'd got strung out a little here, and no surprise. Usually there would have been a few people splitting off any time soon, but such had been our pace that we were still all together and making good overall time. Fast Thursday looked like becoming a reality at the second attempt! Once again Ian stomped off eastwards with the Two Terrys stuck to his back end and with the dry ground apparently boosting everyone's performance, he kept it boiling all the way up the hill across the end of the runway and down to the gate.

That last bit certainly split the bunch and it was a good few minutes before everyone caught up and got through the gate. Then Ainis saw a plane coming in and turned back, bombing up the hill again to get underneath the thing as it came in to land. Country folk - aren't they quaint? And Lithuanians moreso. Maybe he misread Lufthansa and thought it was one of his. Somewhere along here Jon took a nice thorn in his front tyre but agreed to leave it in rather than perform an extraction, just in case it was reaching the tube but plugging the hole. It lasted all night!

Joining the Callerton road at Low Luddick we crossed the A696 and streamed down to Wolsington where Chris K and Golly even had time to discuss aluminium nipples as they closed in on the rest from behind. Once again terry and Jon dragged the leading party along rapidly to the bottom of Dinnington again when the Gollum took over to shoot up Brunton Lane. he was burned off again at the Farm by Terry and Jon, then the rest as we all kept the momentum going into Brunton Park.

Ainis had asked Golly to be pointed the right way so he could head directly south for Newcastle centre. Unfortunately he was sticking to the front men, and they didn't stop any more until they'd got all the way through Melton Park and onto the bridleway! No walkie talkies tonight, so a slight slip-up here! No big deal, however, as there was another opportunity awaiting Ainis, but not until he'd done the final singletrack of the night with the rest of us.

It was the Gollum who led down to Bluebell Woods and parked himself at the head of the queue for the log jump. Once he was satisfied that everyone was present and correct, he approached it and carried the Trek safely over before remounting and trying to escape. This effort was partially successful, but by the time he'd reached the end of this dazzling little gem of a trail he noticed he'd picked up a tail, in the Leprechaunian form of Chris D! Could he hell shake him off? Anyway, the pair popped out the other side at Longbenton and waited for the third man to appear. And waited. And waited. Cor - we must have been flying through there!

They turned around and climbed back into the woods, hoping and praying that there hadn't been an accident, as this is as likely a spot as any to suffer one, dead easy. Just starting the descent they were met by Terry H with two news items. First, his lights were dimming rapidly so he was going to give it rice for home as only he can. And secondly, that the cause of the holdup was not an accident, thank goodness, but damage to one of Jason's chainrings. The pair rode another 60 or 70 metres before little twinkly stars appeared coming through the trees towards them. Jason was at the front, and when he stopped we saw the incredible extent of the damage to his Whyte's middle ring - take a look for yourself: one two

The bike was still rideable of course, so after setting Ainis off towards South Gosforth and Chris K leaving for Jesmond, the remainder of us turned north again towards West Moor. Steve B and Andy left us at West Farm Avenue while the group continued up to the new bridleway through the industrial estate. We reached Benton Lane and would have continued without faltering had not Jason forgot he had no middle ring and changed into it. Yurk! That meant another catchup over the field to Longbenton Community College and out onto Station Road in Forest Hall. Richy and Wayne turned south for Wallsend, and once over the flyover Speedy and Arthur departed.

The rest of us followed Ian B though the back streets of Palmersville and as much grass as he could find for us before Ian said goodnight at the Chippy we both call our local. That only left Tim, Chris D, Stuart, Ian M (no falls tonight!) and the Gollum to accompany Jason to the Wheatsheaf where he left for the spooky, black trail down to his Howdon home. Better him than me. Got back to the Cave at about 10:15.

Stuart is going to ship me his GPS track but it looks like 24 miles for this one at a new club record average speed!

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