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As the word spreads far and wide throughout Middle Earth, more and more poor, lost souls are turning up to join the Kingdom of the Gollum, and follow him and his team of navigators into the dark, mysterious world of the Thursday Nighters, in the hope of finding The Light. You won't see them in daylight, they only emerge from their hideaways as darkness falls. Then, one by one, from every direction, they creep through the undergrowth to the secret meeting place. Don't go into the Woods alone...
Thursday 20th September 2007 saw a typical swarm descend on Forest Hall. Some to the north, and some to the south. When the two tribes finally came together as one, there were thirteen of them gathered at Clousden Hill for a night of Mystery and Adventure. At last we saw the re-appearance of both John and Jason K, both smitten with work and family ties that are impossible to overcome. It was great to see those two back out again. And we welcomed yet another new NMBC member, Johanna, who, as the name implies, isn't a man. At last we've got someone to keep Kay company when the chat turns to male chauvinist smut. If she turns up again - read on, dear watcher.
Because Jason was back out, the ride started much later than planned, so it's his fault no-one got home until the early hours. We began on the Waggonway up to Killingworth Village, then around towards Backworth before taking the next Waggonway to Hillheads Farm. Straight into the fields from there, already a few were using their lights, and it started as a bright enough night. We headed through Killingworth and Burradon and over to Weetslade Country Park, where the last of the light just about vanished. Over the road between Wideopen and Seaton Burn, we were once more at the mercy of the Speedian, who'd discovered yet another stretch of secret singletrack just north of here.
Ian dived into the trees, literally this time, and the first few retards followed him into the darkness, lights blazing. It looked pretty thick with bushes in there, so Derek suggested the rest of us move up the trail a few metres and use the next, better-defined trail. The Gollum led into this one, but after a hundred metres completely lost sight of the lights from Speedy's party. He continued, with 6 or 7 followers, but it soon became apparent he'd taken a wrong turn. So an about-turn was executed through the branches, until group two got on the right track again. But hang on a mo - there's a couple or three missing off the back! Crikey, first bit of singletrack and we've lost a quarter of our riders! Once again Golly had to backtrack to pick up the tail enders, through no fault of theirs, but after a short search all were found and shepherded to the group.
We were sat at the side of the A1 now, and rode over the
bridge to the west side before taking to a footpath I mean
track that led us over to Brunton, with derek pushing Gollum along here faster
than he wanted to go - great fun not knowing what was around every corner
because it was too dark to see, although the vast array of lights we shared
certainly lit up the bits they shone on. This trail criss-crosses the fields
before tipping us out at the Big Waters north of Brunswick Village, then leading
us to the Great Park. That's where Keith and Terry got lost after stopping for
more than a few milliseconds for Keith to pull Gollum's zip up (?).They tried to
guess their way back onto the tail of Speedian's Eleven but ended up at the road
through to Brunton, well to the east of the others. Eventually they backtracked
the right way and caught sight of Ian who had ushered his troops on and turned
back to look for the pair of us.
We joined them at the edge of Brunswick Industrial Estate where spirits seemed high. Gollum made a bolt for the trees again, leading through to Brunton Woods and the pitch black trails through them. Golly asked Ian to lead through here "with plenty of tree contact" and that's what he provided. Half way through we again lost a couple off the back. It was David and Daniel, who was still having problems with the "different" gear change system on the Barracuda, loaned by Golly for tonight as it fits him better. Not long after regrouping, Ian F decided he had to have a puncture. This would have been pretty tricky in here in total blackness, but the abundance of searchlights, floodlights, spotlights and headlights present, night was turned into day. Puncture fixed, Ian set about putting his tube back into the wheel. Nothing abnormal about that. Except he was pushing the valve up the hole in the rim from the centre of the wheel, not the outside! He'll say he was in the shadows. The rest would heartily disagree, judging by the hysterical laughter from all four corners of the Woods!
Escaping finally from the trees with intermittent rain showers forcing waterproof dressing and undressing sessions, we made our way down Brunton Lane behind Derek. Gathering outside Melton Park Estate, we planned the next phase to put Ian F and Johanna in a handy spot to turn for home. That was on Hollywood Avenue in Gosforth after we'd come off the bridleways from Gosforth Park. That left 11 souls to continue the slightly damp ride. Another consultation between Speedian and Gollum mapped out the final stage. That took us out to South Gosforth, and the trail running off the foot of Freeman Road into Jesmond Dene. We stopped just inside the Dene to prepare everyone for what was coming - slippery, wet inclines and low branches with roots and rocks beneath! In total darkness!!!
Gollum took off down the first slope, feeling the hot breath of Jason K about a millimetre behind on his first ride for a few weeks. Didn't wanna go this fast, bu**er him! It was after before we reached the first incline, a dodgy ride up the side of a flight of stone steps, that John started whinging. He'd been quiet and well-behaved up to now on his first outing for ages, and was handling the dark brilliantly, so why start now? Well. I'll tell you. He was wearing Jason's spare pair of Electron lamps, freshly charged by the Gollum. And they'd gone out! Maybe daft old Golly didn't give them enough time in his wind-up lecric. Or he hadn't pedalled the generator long enough. But the fridge was OK. Anyway, poor old Johnny couldn't see a bat, and there were plenty down here. So the Gollum swapped helmets with John, so he could use Golly's new LED headlamp, and all was sweet again. Speaking of sweet, John's got a few grams to get rid of now after his lay-off.
We ploughed on into the depths of the Dene, stopping after each fast section for catch-ups, but no-one was very far behind in here although the little tunnel caused some surprises in the dark. Derek took the front again as we hit the Ouse Burn valley floor. Next time we regrouped his cleats had come loose, so we stopped while he made adjustments. The group was sent ahead, all except Keith, Ian A and Gollum who waited with Derek. They'd been instructed to meet at Paddy Freeman's Boating Lake, but hadn't realised they'd ridden straight past it and back down into the river bed again. Once more Gollum got the short straw and was sent to gather them up.
From there we once again managed to get split up, the last few of us emerging onto Castle Farm Road a few hundred metres below the others. We toured down the slope of Freeman Road to South Gosforth again, at which point everything got strange. People started to disappear, or were abducted. First to go was Paul C. Then it was Craig. I didn't even see them split off from the gaggle! We were now headed out towards Gosforth Park on Salters Lane and it was Derek's turn to vanish without trace. Cutting through Balliol Business Park on the bridleway to Benton Lane, I missed the departure of Keith aswell! Further on, as we hit the Great Lime Road, young Daniel was tiring at the back and falling in front of cars. Waiting for him and his Dad David caused me to miss the escape of Kay, Jason and John into the distance. Only the Speedian, Ian A remained at The Cottage to bid a Good Night to. What a weird ending to a ride!
Daniel, David and Gollum were last to complete the trek up to Holystone, where Jason and John were waiting for them. Daniel got his bike back from Golly's garage and he and his Dad left there well after 1015 pm to complete their ride, the longest of everyone at about 30-odd miles!
Riding in the dark really is intense. Very enjoyable ride overall, and yet again we got a few great laughs out of it. If we see Johanna again I'll let you know what she, as a complete newcomer, thought of it.
Picture aren't worth showing, but I may stick the clearest ones in here later.
Have you Killed A BIKE THIEF TODAY?
Keep watching and if you fancy a ride out with us, drop us a line here: bailout@midaircrisis.org.uk