Where on earth was everyone on Thursday 28th February 2008? That's what Steve B and the Gollum were asking themselves as they prepared for this, one of the final few dark rides of the winter. They left the Cave around 7:05pm and were on their way up the Great Lime Road when Speedy Ian A appeared with his Cateye headlamp blazing.

We scratched our heads for a while and then, after considering the considerable wind's direction, took off by road for Backworth. We stayed on the black with the wind at our backs around past the scrapyard, where we took to the fields for the start of the Cornfield Run over to Holywell Dene. Steve hadn't done this before, and the other pair hadn't done it the dangerous way, full-length, by candlelight. So the challenge was laid down, and off we pelted. Golly took the helm for stage one as far as the staircase up to Holywell Village.

Ian led down to the bridge where he urged the Gollum to lead the first leg through the trees. Having messed up the first steep climb, and Steve got it right, and Ian got it wrong, the Speedian shot away in the lead to set a cracking pace along the riverside, closely followed by Steve, and far-ly followed by the wizened one. Arriving at the bridleway between Delaval and Whitley, we accidentally stumbled over a nearby fence, by stile, and in the dark and confusion got on our bikes and mowed along the next stretch behind Speedy again.

We arrived at the gate near the road into Hartley and immediately shot down to the riverside again on the track to the harbour. Golly took the front and diverted the trio over the little bridge to the north side of the river before completing the tricky section back up to the Melton Constable and finally following Ian around the headland to St Mary's Island.

That's where we stopped, mesmerised by the changing coloured lights on the seaward side of the Lighthouse. We were all so riveted by the beauty and serenity of the scene (sickly, I know, but you should have seen it) that we spent way longer than intended sitting there in the moonlight. Well, the moonlight and the headlights of an isolated vehicle with a few people inside. After a funny story from Ian we got in line behind him again for the return journey.

Bumpy

As is normal. Ian can always sniff out a new twist on a trail, so he led us up to the fence line behind the Chippy and disappeared from view over the steep grass bank down to the south side of the river this time. Steve followed some way behind after he and Golly had set off in the wrong direction and backtracked. Then it was the latter's turn to latch onto Steve, but somehow he managed to find a deep hollow and plant the front wheel of the Decathlon straight in it, resulting in the old catapult syndrome as he was sent sailing straight over the handlebars. Not only that, but the back wheel had come out of the frame, and it was hard to tell if this had actually been the cause of the fall, his first for, ooh, weeks! The fall itself was one of those slow motion affairs, and he had time to watch the ground getting ever closer to his head on the way down. Using standard NMBC survival techniques, he lay still for a few minutes before moving. (truth is, he lost consciousness until he tasted blood trickling down his face into his mouth). Steve must have looked back from a few hundred metres up the trail and returned to find out why so many lights were shining up at the sky. When the rear wheel had been re-inserted and Gollum had demanded some sympathy, it was time to grin and bear it as the Old One led back to the road at Hartley.

When we reached the gate we again fell over it in the dark and were forced to complete that part of the route in reverse. It wasn't until we reached the stile at the other end that we thought maybe we'd strayed off the bridleway. Too late now, sorry Guv. Gollum was pushed to the front again by Ian for the final foray into the Dene, and it was a very tired little pair of scrawny legs that emerged at the bridge again, totally shot. The Gollum kept to tarmac for the run back to Backworth and we all flew down the little waggonway to the middle of the Great Lime Road. Ian turned right, we turned left, then half a mile later Steve turned down past Asda for his tour home to Longbenton.

This was a great little ride, ending for Steve around 10:30pm, on a lovely evening where the wind eventually settled down and didn't have much effect on us at all. Gollum woke up the next morning with two smashing lumps on his forehead and a very sore right leg. You really should have been there to laugh. About 25 miles for Steve, I reckon.

Keep watching and if you fancy a ride out with us, drop us a line here: bailout@midaircrisis.org.uk