He's Back!!!

Thursday 3rd April 2008 marked the unmistakable return of Wor Craig after a three month absence, brought about by, surprise surprise, a tumble of his demonic Specialized Stumpjumper. He's had more than his fair share of get-offs and was beginning to think the blessed bike had it in for him. He's convinced all this started after he'd sacked his trusty Rockhopper hardtail. Maybe it did, but probably as a result of taking more risks - or there is a devil inside it.

Gathering at the Gollum's to welcome him back were Arthur, Ian and Jason to make up a quintet for this one on a beautiful sunny evening with only a light westerly for a change. And of course the clocks had gone forward so this was the first dark ride to be started in daylight. Eh? We were missing Derek again as he's still got foot problems - rumour has it that a video of his tootsies was ordered of YouTube because it was just too unsavoury for human consumption. Yeeurk!

The trails behind the Cave drew us in with Jason taking the reins to get us into the first wooded section. The local kids have been building jumps and things in here, but even after all the teasing and encouragement by Jay, Golly decided to err on the side of caution, and just as well, as the biggest jump had a dirty great hole behind it and a log pile placed strategically to loosen a Gollum's teeth.

Unusually, we could see the top of the hill and it was Arthur or Jason who set off for the summit, rather than the usual blat under the trees at the western edge of the thing. Craig led off the top as we plunged down to the Battle Hill Waggonway, then cruised on through the estate and over Battle Hill Drive to the Coast Road. The underpass took us to the top of the Burn from which Craig, Jason, out again on that silly singlespeeder with solid front forks, and Ian blasted away in front leaving Arthur and Golly to cruise gently down to meet them at the top of the steps.

After bumping down those we rode up into Wallsend and south onto the C2C riverside route. Just short of the new Quayside apartments we headed back up from the river to the steep drag up to Heaton, where Craig blitzed the climb as if he'd never been away, and somehow Jason followed with that annoying 32-18 gearing dragging him almost to a standstill near the top. What athletes! Must mention that Craig has got hold of a road bike and has been using that regularly to stay in shape - hence his impressive speed everywhere tonight.

We dropped into Jesmond Vale here and the time had come to light up as it got quickly blacker in the trees. We stayed high for once, and after a food stop where the conversation was all about what's good and bad to eat, eventually emerged in Paddy Freeman's where Gollum accidentally discovered a few hundred metres of real rooty trail up to the Tennis Centre. This looks like a good place to test suspension, must try it downwards next time.

Ian led up onto Freeman Road, the rest of us following not knowing what to expect next. That's when Arthur must have decided to hot Gosforth Park as he flew down to and over the roundabouts on the Decathlon. I've mentioned the bikes out tonight (Golly was on the CoilAir) as that was one of the other talking points, with Ian having just about made his mind up to invest in the new 2008 Stumpjumper after taking a test ride last week. I must say I've gone almost completely about-face on Specialized bikes since seeing, feeling and sitting on Steve W's new Stumpy Pro, which has proper rear suspension and real Fox front forks. They're much better looking and performing now than they've ever been, and could even tempt the Gollum, possibly. I didn't say that. Jason, however, could well take my place as Principal Specialized Slagger-Offer since his acquisition of the British Whyte E-5!

So far the only real opportunity for Craig to damage himself was the narrow ribbon of singletrack along the top of the Burn, but he hadn't. Only one chance left now as we dipped into Speedy's favourite Blast Arena, Gosforth Park. For once, Ian was slowed to a reasonable pace through the maze of tree trunks by a slipping chain. I think, Mrs Speedian, that the frame on Ian's old Stumpy is twisted due to damage over a long time, and the swingarm has been misaligned. It'll only survive as an emergency standby bike. The Servotronic Dilithium Crystal has also morphed into ectoplasm. The only cure is a new Stumpjumper. (That OK, Ian?)

The remainder of our little journey was surreal, as we floated from tree to tree in the deep duvet of fallen leaves, dived from ditch to ditch, and clattered from clearing to clearing with not a care in the world, except to keep Speedy's rear LEDs in sight. Finally it was Craig who bombed off into the last section above the golf course with the others having trouble keeping up with his frantic pace. He kindly allowed us all to catch for the runout to the Drive, and ten minutes later we were back at base, around 10:15 pm and 15 miles later.

Keep watching and if you fancy a ride out with us, drop us a line here: bailout@midaircrisis.org.uk